If only music was my life
by Boushi
Summary: Roxas does not trust Axel. Axel is being very polite. Is there something that he wants from Roxas? Is going to break his heart?  boyxboy, you have been warned! Lemons to come...
1. Freakin' out, Got a bottle of Jack down

This an older story of mine, perviously entitled All around me. I have decided to revise the exisiting chapters and continue the series. The chapters that had been included in the first version are in the first chapter but everythnig after is brand spanking new!

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts nor do I own the songs All around me by Flyleaf or You are so Beautiful by Escape the Fate

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><p><em>My hands are searching for you<em>

_My arms are outstretched towards you_

_I feel you on my fingertips_

_My tongue dances behind my lips for you_

First thing first, I hate my life. I go to school, come home, wake up and start all over again. One cares about me. I am the outcast. I know big whop! Another sad story. But I can't just imagine my life is perfect when it's not. I wear the clothes I like, listen to good music but none of it ever makes any difference. People still avoid me. I like that, 'cause I don't like them either.

It was a Monday morning, which is never a good sign, when the teacher jumped up with one of her fake, only-to-please smiles. She looked at the open door where an obviously stunned guy was standing. His jaw was slack in shock, Yes, I thought, there is that much white, I thought, and everything is fake here. This place reminded me of the bright light you would see when you die but the was no heaven here. He looked relatively normal at first glance, uniform was spotless. But the bright red hair could not get passed anybody. He started talking quietly with the teacher. His movements were flawless. He turned his head and I saw that his ears were pierced on both sides, and were those tattoos on his face? They were small triangles under his eyes. If I did anything like that, I would be kicked out of school and then my house. What the fuck is he doing here? No body this interesting came to _this _school…

"Class! We have a new class mate! His name is Axel. He's from Hokkaido. Tell me, Axel, what brings you to Nagoya?" …poor bastard, on the spot in the first five minutes. I lifted my head from my binder in feigned interest. He looked directly at me. My mouth swung open as we locked in a stare. Though his eyes were green, I saw fire. He was so…different. Everyone here looked the same. He stood out in a good way. Well, to me anyways. He still did not answer the question and it was starting to make me nervous, but I did not care. I never felt this before…

_This fire rising through my being_

_burning I'm not used to seeing you_

"Change of scenery. I hate the cold in the winter." He finally answered. His eyes never left mine.

"Oh… Well you'll find the winters here are quite pleasant!" she threw another fake smile and motioned for him to find a seat. It was inevitable…. There are only four empty desks in the class and they are all around me. Who would have guessed? He sat right behind me, in the last desk in the row.

"Ok, yesterday we reviewed the history of-" I put my head phones in and turned up the volume. Bring me the horizon was the first song that played. I always pass the day with listening to music and showing no enthusiasm towards my educational career. The teachers learned not bug me and I did not give them an aneurism.

It was about half way through the song Chelsea Smile, when I felt a hole forming in the back of my skull. He is staring at me. I put my head down on my binder in hopes that it was my head in the way of the chalk board that was the cause but, nope. I felt the green eyes follow my head down. Great… a creep!

Lunch was just a continuation of my classes. I sat under the tree that was designated for me. No one ever walked out this far in to the yard for lunch. I found my usual spot and started reading a manga that my friend recommended. It was about these two class mates who decide to unofficially investigate brutal murders. Right up my alley. I was enjoying my solitude when a very tall shadow over took my reading light. The creep has followed me here. He stood in front of me with a broad smile.

"Hello?" he waved his hand in my face; I quickly wipe the drool from the corners of my mouth, "Earth to Roxas!" His spiked hair amazed me. He had to get up at ungodly hours to get his hair to stay like that. His frame was tall and lanky but there was evidence that he worked out on a regular basis. His white uniform shirt was open to reveal a Dir en Grey shirt underneath. All of his piercings were silver and shiny. All in all, Roxas had a reason to drool.

"How the fuck do you know my name?" I spat.

"Nice to me you too!" He sarcastically smiled as wide his face would allow, "I'm Axel. Got it memorized?"

"I know…" He slumped down next to me, and leaned in to see my manga. His arm touched mine and I shivered. No one touches me… well outside of a mosh pit.

"What ya reading?" he turned his face to me. Ok, this guy has no sense of personal space. Thank god for make-up that covers bright red!

"Goth," I decided to stick to one word answers.

"Does it have any fire?"

"No,"

"Explosions?"

"No," so this guy is a pyro? Figures, I attract the crazy ones.

"You're not one for conversation, are you?" he raised his eyebrow. Damn him… being born with ability to look sexy even when confused.

"I hate talking… It means I have to be around people," I threw a venomous glare but he just smiled back. He was so confidant, how could I look him in the eye? That smile was so care free. How could he do it? I cannot stand the stares and glares. Why was everyone telling you to do what makes you happy when they would never accept who you truly are? "Why do you wanna talk to me?"

"Because, if we're going to be in the same class for the rest of the year, we might as well be friends," _touché…._

"Fine…" I mumbled.

"I'm sure it won't be that painful to make friends." Axel said sarcastically.

"Whatever you say," He leaned away from me while readjusting his legs and his arm was not touching me anymore. I suddenly felt cold…. I think I know this feeling. It had been a while.

_I'm alive, I'm alive_

Ok, so far so good. The creep does not want to take a hint. He keeps to himself but for the most part he is the more talkative of the two of us. It's been a few weeks since Axel showed up. I guess you could call us friends, we were the ones that we could stand to be around in this hell hole. He had caught on to my life style. The parties, the drinking and the music, how it wished I wished I was a lead singer. The only problem was the fact that I sounded like a girl when I sang. Not the effect I'm going for. This was something that had been rolling around in my head for a while. I knew that Axel had some friends he had that were in to the music scene.

"What do you know about starting a band?" I asked Axel at lunch on a Friday.

"I'm in a band." He looked up from his buritto with extra hot sauce. He went a little over board with anything that was spicy. I hate Mexican food though. He still would offer half of his lunch.

"Really?"

"So like what do you need in a lead singer?"

"He needs to be bold," _shit_ "Good with people," _Crap _"And of course a good voice." _Well there is light at the end of the tunnel…._ I was sunk. My career in music would be reduced to standing in the crowd.

"What if the lead singer has a girly voice?" If there was a glimmer of hope, I would take it.

"Um, go power pop? Or you could find a deeper voice to duo with and get the whole System of a Down/Underoath sound."

"Know any bands going for the Underoath sound?" I don't think they would take me but how would I know if I did not try.

"Actually… Yeah. You can come see them tonight. Bring friends." Axel nodded and went back to his spicy curly fries.

"… Friends?"

"_So…what is he like?_" Namine asked over the phone. I told you about the friend that recommended that manga? Well Namine is one of my better friends and an artist. She loved to analyze the style of manga artists and came across Goth in her reading and passed it on. I decided to invite her and her little sister, Kairi. I also invited my best friend Sora. He lives across the city and I do not get to see him often during the week. People say we look so alike we could be brothers but we have no relation what so ever. I had hoped Namine would be satisfied with an invitation to a show and leave it at that. But she made a point of sticking her nose in my life, purely out of love… I think?

"Who said there was a Him?" damn she good at this sometimes.

"_Oh, come on! We can't get you in to a bar full of people if we tried!_" Namine pleaded and I knew she would eventually get it out of me but I was not going to give up so easy.

"Maybe I wanna be more social?" I hopped that would satisfy her once again.

"…"

"His name is Axel"

"_YES!_" she giggled "_my Roxy has a crush!_" I could feel her jumping up and down over the phone. I have a bad feeling about this.

We decided that we would meet at Sora's house, seeing as his place was about a block away from the basement, on the shady corner of town. This was not really a basement, more of an unofficial gathering place for Nagoya's underbelly. It was filled with liquor, music and angry people. It was heaven. The doors opened at 7, so I showed up at Sora's at 6:15. I knocked on the door and it tore open. A brunette was standing there arms crossed, face twisted in to a glare.

"Why was I the last one to find out about Him?" Sora demanded.

"You never asked," I shrugged.

"Well I'm not a mind reader!" he complained childishly.

"Namine is…" I retorted.

"That doesn't excuse you! I should have been the first to know about him." Sora put his hands on his hips.

"Who is him?" Sora's mom casually walked by.

"Roxas' crush!" Sora responded with a smile over his shoulder.

"Who you guys going to tell next? The neighbours?" I glared at Sora with a thousand daggers.

"Awe! He's blushing!" Kairi pointed at my face which was turning a pale pink. Namine was sitting with her sister on the couch. Kairi is pretty cool. She likes a lot of North American trends, she followed a style that was called "scene". Namine on the other hand was Lolita. She always had a different dress for every occasion. Sora had a crush on Kairi, he told me, but he was scared because Kairi was a year younger and Namine's sister. I saw no problem with it but Sora had a reputation as a ladies man, and Namine could name every girl he had gone out with. Namine knew too much about Sora to let him date her little sister.

"K, let's get ready in my room," Sora's version of pre-party prep was to at least consume half the alcohol for the night. I am pretty sure Sora's mom has caught on, but she was turning a blind eye.

We went down the short hallway to the last door. Sora ushered everyone in the room then closed the door behind us. He skipped over to the edge of his bed. He reached underneath his mattress and pulled out two bottles. One Jack Daniels', one peach mango rum. I got the Jack and the rest liked their rum. Sora took shots to ensure maximum drunkenness. Namine and her sister mixed with coke. Me? I drank straight from the bottle, especially tonight. I was nervous.

"So, what does he look like?" Sora was egger to find out what he missed. I took a swag of JDs'.

"Tall," I did not like have to answer questions so I was back to one liners.

"And?" Namine pushed.

"Red Hair," They were really making me anxious. It was bad enough that I was going to see the guy tonight, now they were forcing me to describe him.

"Is he Irish?" Sora asked and head turned to the side.

"Not natural red, bright red," I liked the color of his hair, it was unique.

"Really? And he's in a band?" Kairi asked. Another gulp…

"Yeah, lead singer. His band is playing tonight." _Oh, sure let's remind our self that were playing with fire…._

"Well, you're the only one who likes metal/emo shit," Sora commented, "You should thank us. There's going to be a rough crowd there tonight." Sora was right. Every time we had been there it was for pop-punk concerts that attract a younger, less irate crowd.

"It isn't shit…" I defended. I felt the alcohol starting to hit me and fast. I was seeing double and my fingers were numb. Good. I'm almost ready to go. I took the biggest gulp of the night and sat myself next to Namine on the bed and waited till we left, gulping in regular intervals.

About half an hour (and half a 2/6) later, we agreed we would start making our way down to the show. I stood up quickly and felt a beautiful wave of dizziness. Time was becoming a blur as I made it down stairs. Before I knew it, I was at the door paying my 1,000 yen to get in.

"Yo! Yoshiya!" I gave the door man a high five. I was always a friendly drunk. The people here probably did not know that I was anti-social, since I have never showed up sober.

"Roxas! Thousand." Most shows never charge more than 700.

"NE? That's fuckin' bull!" as I made a sad attempt to put the money in his hand. He eventually just grabbed it and pushed me in. The others popped up behind me. We looked around but the show would not be starting for another 10 minutes. Time to find the bar! I started in that direction when a hand grabbed the back of my shirt.

"Haven't had enough for a while? You don't wanna embarrass yourself in front of Axel." Namine was the babysitter of the group by nature.

"HAH! AXEL IS IT? Yes! I am no longer out of the loop!" …and Sora is the loud drunk.

"Wanna say that any louder?" I glared at Sora again.

"Wha?" He was oblivious to his loudness.

"Nevermind… I need a drink." This time I made it all the way to the bar. I ordered a black tooth; whiskey with a splash of coke. When you are holding it in your hand in a low lit room, it looks like you are drinking a coke, but in truth it is more alcohol than anything else.

"Black tooth? More like black-out, especially for someone your size." Axel had decided to join me at the bar.

"I-I'm not that 'mall 'nd I c-can hold my liquor!" Fuck, I should have listened to Namine. I have seemed to have miss placed my lips. Can anyone find them?

"Can I get a red bull?" Axel asked. Oh fuck, he might not drink and here I was drunk as a skunk. Namine… help? "N-no liquid courage?" I asked feebly.

"No. Not to night. I tend to be a little fucked up when I'm… well fucked up." I nodded, nearly hitting my cheek on the bar, seeing as I was slowly aiming for curling up underneath it. "I don't drink before a show, but there's a party at our apartment after. Wanna come? You can come meet the band I was talking about."

"Yeah! I mean if my friends can come?" I was doing a good job of keeping my composure. Or from what I could tell.

"Sure… I gotta get backstage. See ya." He gave a side glance that I could not interpret, so I took it was a look of disgust.

_I can feel you all around me_

_Thickening the air I'm breathing_

_Holding on to what I'm feeling_

_Savoring this heart that's healing_

"It's ok Roxas, I'm sure he couldn't tell you were drunk." Namine had found me finishing my fourth drink.

"'Ealy? 'Ou 'ure?" I was flopped over Sora's right shoulder, he was supporting me with my arm over his shoulders.

"You're in the safe." She nodded with a bright smile. There was hint of desperation behind the smile. I could tell she was praying that Axel did not notice I was toastered.

"K…" After Axel left backstage, I got depressed and started my journey to alcohol poisoning.

"Drink more water!" Kairi gave her small piece of advice.

"No! He'll spill all over me again!" Sora wined.

"OK! WE'RE KODOU!" Right then a mind numbing bass riff and drums started up. Short and sweet. I liked it. As far as my drunk mind could tell, the music was fucking awesome! From our spot at the back, I could not see the band nor was I in the mosh pit. So, my blitzed out mind came up with an idea.

_"I could've found a better way_

_You know I never should have stayed_

_I could've done the things I believed were wrong_

_Now you're saying that its late_

_It doesn't matter what i say_

_You know you're just another one of my mistakes_

_You are so beautiful, You are the kind of guy_

_that has the chemicals that makes me fall in love_

_Beautiful, you are the kinda guy, that has the chemicals_

_That makes me fall in love"_

"Guys… I think I need to puke…." I held my stomach and ran in the direction of the toilets.

"Do you need me to come along?" Sora yelled over the crowd.

"No!" I yelled back and kept running like there was no tomorrow. When I reached the toilet, I unclenched my stomach and walked back. I had no intention of going back to the nose bleed section, I walked straight in the direction of the mosh and Axel. I took a couple steps of a running start then leaped in. The mass amount of people in one spot, all pushing, all sweaty and all angry at the world, it was my release. This is what I lived for. I was too numb to feel potential bruises. After my moment of euphoria, I caught a glimpse of Axel in the corner of my eye. I managed to push my way through half of the mosh pit. I knew that the second half was worse. The stage acted as a barricade, pinning human bodies to it in the hope to be close to the band. I was nothing compared to some of these metal heads. Jesus! It was like all the high school football teams in the city showed up. I was drunk and a foot shorter than these monsters. It was no surprise when a drunk manbeast lifted me up to crowd surf.

_"So now I'm feeling like a slave_

_I'm locked away inside this grave_

_And I'm hoping for a way I can be saved_

_You know that there will come a day_

_when I just have to say, you're just another one of my mistakes"_

I could not figure out what was going on. There were people and they lifted me. I was going up and down rhythmically, sometimes getting too low or too high for comfort. I could not realize where I was. I was really getting dizzy and need the toilet for real this time.

_" You are so beautiful, You are the kind of guy_

_that has the chemicals that makes me fall in love_

_Beautiful, you are the kinda guy, that has the chemicals_

_That makes me fall in love_

_Fall in love_

_You know I felt a strong regret_

_You lied about, You lied about_

_You lie to me, lie to me"_

The world was spinning, usually I would sit back and enjoy the ride, but I was really going to be sick. Like being ripped from a pool of colour and hot bodies, someone grabbed my belt on my dangerously low jeans. They yanked me to my feet up on to a flat surface and stood me up. I came nose to nose with nose other than Axel… I have never blushed so hard in my life. I was inches way from a hot, sexy lead singer who was still gripping my belt. As if on cue the song ended with Axel singing his was line while still staring at me.

"Makes me fall in love!"

Axel smiled then faced the crowd. He put his arm around my waist. My stomach did a major back flip. Shit, this is not the time for me to reverse the contents of my stomach. I went deer in the head lights. I vaguely understood that Axel was introducing me to the audience. I was dealing with too much to pay close attention. Axel leaned in to my ear, his lips tickling my ear.

"Go find your friends and stay there, ok?" Axel gave me the promise me eyes. I nodded and started stumbling to the stairs at the side of the stage. I got on solid ground and ran for the bathroom. This time I was going to be sick.

I think I lost my liver sometime in the middle of my body deciding to retch up all of its contents. I curled up with toilet seat and was finally feeling like I might be ok to stand up. I have a love hate relationship with alcohol; I love it when I am drunk, and I hate it after. I was starting to get up when I heard someone walk in to the bathroom. Whoever it was, they can go fuck themselves. I need silence and they were being noisy. I stumbled out and was swearing obscenities at them when I vaguely recognized one of the guys was the one that lifted my up to crowd surf. He was behind about three other guys blocking the doors. They all had a blank face at first; any one would seeing a drunk yelling at them.

"'So 'ou better jus' fuck off…" I glared at them and I tried walking past them and the gears in their heads turned and they stopped me from leaving. The big guy in the middle smiled.

"You the little fag who thought he was tough shit in the pit?" He crossed his arms showing Yakuza tats.

"'nd 'f I'm?" I will never be allowed to drink after tonight. I obviously have a problem with keeping my mouth shut.

"You wanna mosh? Mosh this!" They began to push me between them in a mock mosh pit. But then pushes became punches. I became the entertainment for the drunken idiots.

"Fuck off! You wanna go? I'll take you!" I yelled hoping if I put up a fight they would leave me alone. I was wrong. A hand grabbed my jaw a fist slammed in to my cheekbone.

"Where's Roxas? I sent him your way?" Axel was asking Kairi and Namine.

"We haven't seen him since his little stunt…" Kairi was not impressed with Roxas behaviour of late.

"I would go check the bathroom." Sora suggested.

"Thanks guys, oh, and I invited Roxas to our after party, he said he wanted you guys to come too." Axel added.

"Yes! I mean… haha… yeah, no problem." Namine was just a little excited for Roxas.

"K, Talk to you later." Axel nodded and headed for the john.

I could not tell who was who; I was only seeing flashes of the action. The fists were about all I would see then everything was black again. I had one black eye, a battered nose, cracked lip and my stomach was past the point of bearable, not to mention the cracked ribs. I could be dead and I would not have known the difference. The low lighting in the bathroom lightened up for a second, signalling the door being opened. The massacre stopped or the moment while my attackers talked with the person. All I could see was a shadow of the person and I could not comprehend words, so I stuck to lying face down in the pool of blood from the cuts on my face. The gang stayed in between me and the guy. They talked for what seemed like eternity when the group nodded off and left. I was in pure agony. I could feel my pulse in every inch of my body. The stranger came closer and I lifted my head in interest. All I saw was bright red hair.

_My hands float up above me_

_And you whisper you love me_

_And I begin to fade in to our secret place_

My blonde hair was stained red. My face was a mess and my clothes were dirty from lying on the floor. I was only slightly ashamed of what had happened tonight. To top it all off, Axel was the one who had picked me up off the floor and sat me down on the counter and began helping me clean up. I was entering the gates of hell. Axel took paper towel from the counter and began wetting them with water and cleaning off my face. I was so mad at myself. Why do I do this to myself? I mentally scolded myself, _It will always end the same… you're just going to scare him away._ I was going to go home alone and sob over it then go to school on Monday and get over it, but there is one problem with this equation. Axel goes to my school now. I am royally fucked up in more ways than one.

"Are you awake?" Axel asked. He really needs to learn personal space. He was examining my face close up almost nose to nose. I had closed my eyes to think and to keep the stinging light out of my eyes.

"Y-yeah, I think." I blushed but this time I had no make up to hide it.

"Do you think you can clean up a bit?" he held up the wet paper towel so I could see it.

"I don't know…" I had used my arms to block on coming fists and they were feeling pretty sore. And not to brag, I got one or two punches in, making my knuckles swell.

"OK, I'll help then." He picked up the wet paper towel and began wiping away the blood. For the size of his hands, his touch was extraordinarily gentle. He only touched lightly and never actually disturbed any of the wounds. He was cleaning my mouth and his face was still centimeters away from mine.

"Why are you doing this?" my voice was quite as if there was a silence that was so delicate it would shatter in to a million pieces with excessive noise.

"I can't just leave you." There was a painful look in his eyes. If it was hard to take care of me, why was he doing it?

"Yeah, you could. Anyone else would…" He was just making me mad by trying to be the nice guy. Just drop it, I know that you would never do this if you did not know Namine would kick your ass.

"Your friends out there wouldn't leave you here." He said, making my point.

"They're supposed to be like that-ouch!" I had moved my lip at the same time his hand moved and came in to contact with my cut on my lip.

"I'm so, so, so sorry! I'm sorry!" Axel for once, looked frazzled and truly apologetic.

"It's ok…" I was sorrier for the trouble I had caused.

"Roxas? Why do you do this…? The drinking?" I looked down and played with my wrist bands. I was embarrassed but now I was utterly ashamed of myself. I wanted to die.

"I don't know… To be someone else I guess," I hated being anti-social but I had a big problem with trusting people. They only wanted to hurt me.

"I like who you are." Ok, so maybe I was still a little drunk because all of a sudden, I got really brave.

"Really? You like me?" I smiled.

"Yeah, you're a nice guy." Axel nodded but kept his focus on the clean-up.

"Would you date me?" Axel stopped and looked at me. There was a moment where we both were seizing each other up, who was going to bluff and who was honest? He was being honest but I was only joking, so I looked down.

"…Yes, but not at this moment," I looked up in surprise, "Right now, you're too drunk to remember this."

"I'm not drunk anymore!" there is nothing like a fist fight to sober you up!

"Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. Stand up and get your head under the sink to rinse your hair." Axel encouraged. I stood up and wobbled on my feet. Axel saw me having troubles and put his hand around my waist. It felt nice to that close to him. He helped me get to the sink then let me hold myself up. I missed him holding me, so I decided to fake dizziness. I made my self slide down the counter. He caught me and I felt it again. This was the feeling that I had not had in years…

"I swear! Goddamn it!" Kairi was pissed at the football players who played tennis with my face.

"If I catch them, they are so dead." Sora really could not do any real damage if he got a hold of them but the thought is what counted.

"I'll stick with him till the end of the show," Axel volunteered.

"No, go have fun," I refused, "You don't want a gimp like me following you around."

"Oh no, you're not leaving my side tonight!" Axel was not about to back down.

"Or mine!" piped up Sora. Not that he would make a good bodyguard.

"Or mine!" Kairi joined in. Ok, her hair spray might work as pepper spray.

"I actually think Kairi should be heading home," Namine hinted, "She has that thingy tomorrow, right Kairi?" I'm so going to have a talk with Namine tomorrow.

"Oh… yeah… thing tomorrow, hehe," Kairi caught the drift but unfortunately Sora did not.

"What thing? You never said anything thing about a thing?" he was drunk but that was not the problem to begin with. He was just not good at reading between the lines.

"Sora, why don't you walk Kairi and me home?" She raised an eyebrow.

"uh…. OH! ok…" Sora yelled.

"Then it's decided. You can take care of our precious Roxy?" Namine raised an eye brow at Axel. In Namine speak, this means; you hurt him, I kill you.

"I think I can keep him out of trouble… I think?" Axel gave me inquisitive look. He put his arm around me and smiled. Damn him for having a beautiful smile…

"K, then its decided. Talk to you tomorrow Roxas." Namine winked at me then waved goodbye to Axel. I think I waved good bye, but I still cannot feel my hand. I avoided looking at Axel at all costs. He definitely was trying to burn a hole in my head again, I just looked at my shoes. His arm was still around me and was starting to wonder when this silence was going to end. Never mind that Axel smells good! And he is comfy to lean on.

"Do you wanna meet the band I talking about?" My eyes widened. What? I'm not exactly going for the Miss. America crown at the moment not mention that "world peace" is the only sentence I can say.

"N-now?" I wished for a miracle. Please, God, let me vanish in to a black hole!

"Yeah, I got an idea." He squeezed my shoulders and led me in the direction of the entrance way. We walked towards a group of guys that were a few years older than me but otherwise wore the same skinny jeans, band tees and straightened their hair the same as me. The band seemed pretty cool.

"Hey! Riku!" Axel caught their attention. They looked at Axel and smiled and waved. "Follow my lead." He whispered in my ear. I looked at him then back to the group. I did not like the idea of being the center of attention in a big group again tonight but Axel was there, so I felt safe. These guys looked friendly and un-manbeast-ish.

"Hey Ax, is this the newest celebrity of the night?" Riku asked.

"Yeah, guys this is Roxas, Roxas this Riku, lead singer, Yuffie on skins*, Pence on bass and Hayner on guitar." Everybody waved at me except one had to jump up and down while waving.

"Hi…" _wow… nice first impression, Roxas._

"So I hear you have a voice?" Riku hinted.

"Yeah, but it's a little …ahem… high?" I was understating.

"Well that's exactly what we're after. You should come and practice sometime this week." Riku suggested. _That was it? I got an audition?_

"Really?" I said, the excitement in my voice made Riku smile.

"Yeah, we rent the same space for practice and Kodou, just get Axel to show you where it is." Riku looked at Axel and he nodded in agreement.

"K, um, when?" I asked because I had school and these guys looked like they might be out of school.

"Next practice is on Tuesday night." Haner answered.

"Ok!" I was getting excited. I had not even got to go back stage, let alone go to a practice session.

"Well, now that's sorted out… AXEL YOU WERE AWSUME!" Yuffie had decided that her opinions needed be heard… and now. She had jumped from behind Riku and was nearly on top of Axel.

"Yeah, it was a good show," Axel turned to me, "This is Yuffie. Never give her sugar."

"Ha-ha, ok." Not that anyone needed to tell me that one.

"Hey Rocky, who's been giving you the dukes?" Hayner asked. Shit, was hoping this would never surface, but I did look like a zombie.

"Uh…I-" I stammered, I was embarrassed but I could not come up with a lie fast enough with my drunken mind.

"He was in the mosh remember? He just got in over his head." Axel jumped in and saved my skin.

"Nice. Toughing it out in the mosh. Man, I wouldn't even go in that thing tonight. It looks plain ugly." Pence complemented. Pence wasn't small either.

"Well, I should be heading to my place. Make sure Demyx didn't leave food and toxic waste lying around, or worse, his clothes."

"Yeah that wasn't fun last time…" Hayner added. "With the underwear and… yeah, you know what I'm talking about!" Pence just gave him a grossed out look.

"Um, I think I'll just stay here." I decided that I wanted to see the last band seeing as I had only seen one of the five bands playing tonight.

"Like hell you are! You're going to help clean up at my apartment." With that Axel grabbed my wrist and left the building.

_The music makes me sway_

_The Angel singing say_

_We alone with you_

_I am alone and they are to with you_

We got to Axel's apartment and I was so ready to fall in to a soft bed and never wake up. I was starting to sway as we were going up the stairs. I was glad when we made it up the three flights of stairs. We walked in the smallest, most cluttered apartment I have ever seen. There was not a surface that was not covered in something. Books, movies, magazines, clothes and anything else you could think of was lying everywhere! How could this all get cleaned up in half an hour?

"Holy shit… Where do we start?" I stared at what could be called an apartment.

"Don't worry, I have this great system," Axel explained, "See over half this stuff is Demyx's, So, I just pick it up and move it in to his room."

"Oh, ok, so where is Demyx's room?" I asked.

"…Follow the junk." Axel said then led the way down the hallway. There was old pizza containers, beer bottles and clothes all cluttered next to the second door on the left just off the living room. That would be it. Axel opened the door and took out a huge shop broom and started pushing all the stuff on the floor in to Demyx's bed room.

"I'll do the floor if you get the coffee table and sofas." He pointed in the direction of the living room to the right.

"Ok, sounds good to me." I was sobering up now and was able to walk in a straight line.

After everyone got here, the drinks started pouring. The small space was cluttered with bodies rather than books and junk. I did a good job of staying away from booze for about an hour until I met Demyx and he challenged me to a drinking contest. I was only beer but I, of course, I went down first. The night was picking up and I was really starting to have fun. I was meeting new people and being social (ha! Take that Namine). I had seen Axel since we finished cleaning up. I wandered down to the kitchen that was right next to the door. I was making some people laugh with my Soulja Boy impression. I was stumbling backwards when the door opened and Axel stepped in just in time for me to lean against him. What can I say? He is just that comfy.

"Whoa, you ok?" he helped me stand up straight.

"Demyx …. me …. chugging contest…" I was having too much fun. I liked these guys.

"Yeah, that would do it." Axel sighed and put my arm around his shoulders.

"Where 'ou go?" I was confused when did Axel leave so that he could come back in at the exact moment I needed him?

"I think we should get you home. Ne?"

"NO! I can't go home! My mom… I was 'pose to stay at Sora's." I pouted.

"Okok, you'll crash here tonight." Axel sighed.

"Where?" I perked up at the thought of being in Axel's house for the night.

"Well, there is a couch but I think Saix has called it for the night." Axel readjusted me on his shoulders, "So, it's either bunk up with Demyx or me or sleep in the bathtub." Ok, the me drunk should never be allowed to make decisions like this.

"Your bed…" I was feeling brave but also tiered. And the fact that Demyx has been hitting on this guy Zexion all night and already practically raping him as we speak. I am not getting in that bed…

"Ok, let's get you in to bed." Axel just scooped me up and carried me bridal style. I was too drunk to care, just that I got to a bed that was half descent. Axel opened the door and walked in. I kept my head leaning on his neck. His room was a little messy but not like the blast zone outside the room. Axel set me down on the bed and started taking off my shoes then lifted me in to bed. His face was really close to mine, so in my drunken haze I whispered.

"Bet you wanna take advantage of me right now…" _…ok, that's it! I'm going straight edge! No more alcohol for Roxas!_

"Haha… I think you need to sleep." Axel seemed a little tense but continued to get me in to bed. I sobered up fast.

"What? You don't like me anymore?" Like an hour ago, this guy said he go out with me. Now he won't even take advantage of me? Axel looked me in the eye.

"You are really not your self tonight! I tried to get more than two words out of you since we met. Now you won't shut up and you're trying to jump my bones?" Axel was not impressed with the drunk me.

"Well if you don't like me then, why did you say you did?" He looked down then at me. I had to admit, Namine was right, I had a big crush on this guy… But it will never happen.

"I'm going to bed!" I was in tears and I did not know why. Maybe it was just the booze. I flipped over and covered my head in his comforter.

Turns out, when you are mad, you cannot sleep. I had been watching the digital alarm clock on the night stand. I was in his bed since 12:15 and it was 4 now. There was just too much I was thinking about, and being in the bed of the person you thinking about never helps. The buzzing in my head told me I was still intoxicated. I could hear people leaving and the volume outside died down. I could hear Demyx and Axel talking. Axel had gotten up, from what I could hear. I could tell that he was walking down the hallway. Then I heard a thunk as if someone had hit the wall with their head. Great, he was drunk. Fun-fun… He opened the door opened and light came flooding in. He struggled to get in the door. He closed the door, walked next to the bed and flopped next to me. Eventually he rolled over and took off his shoes. He did not leave it at that though. The shirt and the jeans came off too. He curled up under the covers. I felt a hand wrap around my waist then pull me closer. Axel proceeded to use my body as a teddy bear. He pressed his nose in to the back of my neck and moaned… Oh… My… Fucking… God… I'm in bed with a sexy lead singer who is now molesting me with his nose! Ok, so I haven't made out with some let alone get in bed with someone in months. Actually, for all the shit I get myself in to, I'm still a virgin. Spooning was just as awesome as far as I could tell. Axel kept nuzzling the back of my neck until he stopped. I was about to flip over to see if he was still breathing when he started leaving a trail of soft kisses from my neck to my ear.

"Now, you can take advantage of me…" Then Axel giggled and rolled me over and kissed me passionately. His lips tasted sweet and bitter from the alcohol. The alcohol tingled on the cut on my, lip mixing pleasure with pain. He bit my bottom lip hard and I gasped. Then he slipped his tongue past my lips. I never wanted it to end. His body pressed in to mine then he lifted my shirt off. The skin on skin feeling of our chests was driving me crazy. I was too shocked to even try to gain dominance in the kiss, instead I just playfully flicked his tongue with mine. He was starting to slow down. I broke the kiss and looked at him. Fuck, was he hammered. His eyes were drooping until his head slid down and his arms gave out over top of me. And that was the curtain call of the night, me stuck with Axel passed out on top of me, and the sounds of Zexion fucking Demyx senseless in the next room. I need to find a new source of entertainment…

_What the fuck is on top of me? Why does my head hurt? Why is Demyx still screaming? Fuck, I need aspirin. Wait…. The giant is still on top of me. Wait, why is the giant on me? Where is my shirt? Where is Axel's shirt? Where are his __**pants**__? _I jumped up and pushed Axel off me. He just rolled over and kept sleeping. I looked everywhere for my shirt. I could not find it. I was starting to get frustrated. I frantically looked the room over. Then I saw it. The only black in the red sheets, right under Axel who was face down, hugging his pillow. My shirt was underneath his hips. Do I grab it or wake him up? No, I don't want to find out what happened last night. What did happen? I was then, that I remembered the fight, unfortunately that is all I remember. How I got under him or why I was shirtless, was a complete mystery. I ripped my shirt from under Axel and ran. My sudden actions woke up Axel. He screamed as he was thrown from the bed.

"Roxas? Wha… WAIT!" He jumped up and chased after me. I whipped my shirt on. I got as far as the front hallway. Axel grabbed my shoulders and pressed my in to the wall. He looked me in the eyes. Another memory surfaced from last night… the kiss, and the almost moment if Axel had not passed out. I was so close but yet so far. "What happened?"

"If you can't remember, I'm not going to tell you!" With that I stormed out leaving a stunned Axel, Demyx and Zexion standing in the hallway. Saix was just plain pissed some disturbed his beauty sleep.

"Oh god… Did I molest the poor bastard?" Axel asked himself. Completely shocked, he turned to Demyx.

"I told you not to drink that much!" Demyx is the one to talk. He was the one standing with a sheet around his waist, not walking straight from the night's activities…

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><p>Next chapter will be here soon... ish.<p> 


	2. I'm so drunk, I can't even see any more

So, finals and everything else has been keeping me from writing. Long story short, took forever to get this chapter up. Boy love coming in the near future. And remember kids, 99.9% of tickle fights between couples end in sex.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kindom Hearts.

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><p><em>I'm alive,<em>

_I'm alive_

I got home at twelve and was in deep trouble. Sora had called my mother when he was smashed and had asked if I got home ok. My mother was over bearing and worrisome. I was the youngest of five and the only one still living at home. My father had died three years ago. She was yelling at me, telling me how I was going to die of AIDS and become a drug addict because I spent one night out of the house. I was ignoring her when the phone rang. It was Namine so my mother handed the phone to me with a glare only came from our family.

"_Roxas? Did you get home ok?_" her voice was genuinely worried.

"Not entirely," I was being truthful, "I ended up spending the night. One second," I did not mention Axel's name because my mom was around the corner. She had left the room, making it look like she walked out of the room but she was just around the corner in the living room. Her ninja skills only get a two out of ten. She did not know that I was gay and this was not the morning to drop the bomb. I took the cordless with me to my room. I got in my room and closed the door. "He was drunk I was drunk there was a kiss he took his shirt off I was mad I ran out Demyx was—"

"_Ok! Slow down! What happened?_" Namine calmed me. I was out of my mind. I did not know what to do now that I had ran out like that.

"I was really drunk and Axel put me in his bed," I started off less frantic, "I got in a fight with him, and I don't know what it was about. Then, Axel got drunk and cuddled with me half naked. He kissed me and passed out. I woke up and ran out of the place. And now I freaking out! I don't know what he's thinking, and I think I just fucked up everything!"

"_I don't think you fucked it up,_" Namine was always the one to see the bright side, "_He might be a little confused but that's it._" I did not even think about how drunk Axel was last night. He might not even know what had happened.

"What should I do?" I asked in a small voice.

"_Do you like him?_" She asked.

"Yeah… I think. It's like I have butterflies in my stomach." I was starting to hear a mild squeal from the other side of the phone. "No squealing like a little fan girl!" She restrained herself. "Now what do think I should do?"

"_I think you should go back there and talk to him,_" She was being realistic now, "_You do want to have to have this conversation in a public place, like say… school?_" She was right. There was no use not having to go through this before we got to school on Monday.

"Ok, I'll go to Axel's tomorrow," I had to work at my part time job today, "God, just saying his name makes me nervous…" The high pitch kettle sound was slowly rising again. "No, not that…" My ears hurt whenever Namine got too excited.

"Oh, come on!" Namine begged, "You are so KAWAII!" I pulled the receiver away from my ear to protect it from damage.

"Goodbye Namine!" I yelled in to the mouth piece before I hung up. It was almost time for me to leave for work and I still needed to shower and get ready.

I spent the whole day on Sunday picking out my outfit. I was starting to regret my lack of variety in my closet. It was between the concert tee and skinnies or concert tee, skinnies and a hoodie. It was past five and it would start to get cold outside, so I put the hoodie on and left my room. I ran past the living room once I got down the stairs. I did not want my mother giving me the twenty questions before I left the house. The door swung open and I was met with warm spring air. The train station was down the street, so I walked leisurely to my destination. It was the last spring I would have to be in school for. After I graduated I could do whatever I want. I still wished I could be a singer. I guess time would tell.

The ride over was quiet. There weren't that many people on the train. I caught the bus that went to Axel's apartment block. It had gotten a little darker, since it was now six thirty. I got to the front door and I started to read the names on the buzzer list. I could not find Axel's name or it was too dark to see it. The door opened and I tried to catch it before it could close. Demyx was the one who had opened the door and he looked really happy to see me. It was giving me the creeps. He had casual clothes on and looked like was going out to meet a friend for coffee.

"Roxas! You here to see Axel…I hope," he was very enthusiastic. Something was off.

"Um, yeah. Is there something going on?" I was not going to crash a party if someone was over.

"Uh… You will have to see that yourself," he recommended.

"Why? Is something wrong?" I asked.

"He's been trying to make pancakes and light things on fire all weekend," Demyx gave an exhausted look, "He does this every time he loses at love." It was a little over dramatic but I guess that would be Axel for ya. "So, go upstairs and make sure he does not have a lighter. I took as many as I could find before I left but if I know him, he has more hidden." I nodded and walked in to the apartment building. The three flights of stairs were easier than last time. I got to the top and that's where my trouble started. The last time I was here, I was drunk and Axel was leading the way. I had no memory of which apartment was his. I had left in a hurry yesterday morning and I didn't see where I was running from. I knocked on several different doors until an old man directed me to the third door from the end of the hall. The door was mocking me. It was sitting there just waiting to be knocked. I straightened my hair and checked my outfit. There was nothing that I could really do at this point but it was more for comfort than anything else. It took a couple of tries but I finally knocked loud enough for humans to hear. I heard a pan hit the floor and a man swore. The door flung open to reveal a confused Axel. He had pancake batter on his baggy grey t-shirt and flame patterned pjs. I could smell something burning. I looked up and saw a singed piece of hair sticking out from the rest.

"Uh—hi…" I said.

"Hello," He replied. There was a moment of silence, "What can I do for—"

"I wanted to apologize for yesterday," I interrupted, "I was scared and I didn't mean to take it out on you…"

"Oh… Well, I take most of the blame actually," he was looking at the floor, "Did you want to come in?" I did not know what to do. "It's ok if you don't…" If I go inside there would be another chance for error but I wanted to hang out with Axel. There was no way to win this. But what the hell, you only live once.

"Sure…" I said. I walked in cautiously. I was scared to see the apartment in flames. I got through the front entrance to see that the only thing out of place was a pan on the kitchen floor. Axel closed the door behind me. We walked to the front room. I sat on one side of the couch and Axel was on the other. There was no sound in the entire apartment. At this point I would love to hear a leaky faucet. Axel got nervous and lit a cigarette.

"Did you want a drink?" he suggested. I knew that did not work last time.

"No, thanks," I was getting twitchy myself, "Can I have a smoke?" I had smoked before but I wasn't old enough to buy smokes so I never continued it. He handed me the pack and the lighter. It was awkward having to lean over the couch just to pass something. Axel moved the ash tray to the middle of the coffee table. After a few seconds the air was literally as thick as the tension.

"Look, Roxas," Axel finally started, "I know I probably scared you and I am sorry. I told you I was an ass when I'm drunk." I managed to look at the other side of the couch but not in to Axel's eyes.

"I was just as much of pain in the ass," I was slowly making my way up to his eyes, "I guess we aren't so different when we drink…" He laughed and looked at his hands.

"I am also sorry if I did anything…" he trailed off.

"Did what?" I was a little worried. Was there something I wasn't remembering?

"Well, anything that happened that might have scared you," I realized that Axel was the one who didn't know what had happened.

"Oh! Yeah that thing," I nodded sarcastically, "You should be sorry." His eyes widened. Now he was really worried.

"W-what thing?" he asked feebly. I shuffled over and leaned in close.

"You know…" I was actually looking in his eyes now that I knew this was more of a joke than anything else, "_That _thing…" He had a bit of a blank stare. The pieces were not clicking in his head.

"Seriously," He was getting panicked, "What the hell did I do?" I laughed out loud and threw my head back. Axel was confused at first but then realized what was going on. "Stop fucking around. What happened?"

"Nothing too serious," I downplayed. He shuffled closer.

"Like what?" He was like a kid three days before Christmas, asking what his presents were.

"Well…" I was looking around the ceiling and then back down to Axel, "I don't know if I want to tell you." He was taken back. "I think I am having too much fun…" He smiled and poked my side. I laughed and twitched because I am ticklish.

"Common!" he pleaded, "I wanna know." I put out my smoke and just smiled. It was back to normal. Axel was trying to get me to talk and I was having fun being coy.

"Nope!" I put my chin in the air in defiance.

"That's it!" Axel jumped from his spot on the couch and began to tickle me. I laughed and yelled that I would never surrender. He just kept asking. I my defense, if I was ever interrogated, I would never crack. In the midst of the attack, Axel ended up on top of me. When the laughter slowed and we realized where we were, Axel started to pull back to sit up. My hand moved before I could stop it but it stopped Axel by grasping the back of his neck. He looked down in surprise. I knew this was my big moment and licked my lips in anticipation. We just smiled and kissed, like it happened every day. It certainly did not feel like it happened every day. There was so much more in this kiss than the other night. It was slow at first then Axel pressed in to it passionately. His hand came up to the side of my face, stoking my cheek with his thumb. The kiss broke but I lifted up to get one last taste.

"That's what happened…" I added. Axel smiled and kept stroking my cheek.

"That's it?" he sounded like he was joking, "I think there was a little more…" He put his hand under my shirt and kissed my neck. There was nothing much I could do but indulge in Axel's touch.

"Um… well, this is new," Axel's head shot up, one eyebrow reaching for the ceiling. He was back to the clueless expression, "we just kissed. Honestly, that's all." Axel was confused again for a minute then the light came on. He sat up and rubbed his forehead. He gave a grateful sigh.

"Thank god!" he exclaimed, "I thought I had molested you…" He still had his hands over his eyes. I giggled to myself silently.

"You just kissed me and passed out!" I laughed. Axel turned his head to look at me, "I am still a virgin if it makes you feel any better. Not that I am proud…" He smiled and tried to crawl towards me.

"I think you make a cute virgin…" he snarled hungrily. He nearly got me but I stood up and started to escape.

"Well, if am a cute virgin," I had started to walk past the coffee table, "then we shouldn't—" Axel took hold of my hips and wrestled me on to his lap. The way I landed, I was straddling his hips. I liked the way his eyes were on fire. I leaned in for the kiss and he sat back and enjoyed my dominance. I wanted more than just a kiss. I bit his lips and he opened up gladly. My hand made its way to the hem of his shirt and along his taught stomach. His breath jumped with my fingers ghosting over his skin. The sensation was driving him wild. His hands went straight to my hips and then… other places. They moved over my jeans, which I cursed for being in the way, and then they slid up my back. Axel was not satisfied with just my hands over his stomach and lifted his hips to get more friction. I just moved my hand up to his chest. His hips moving got mine moving to, but not too much. I am virgin here, remember? I took his nipple in my fingers and coaxed it back and forth. Axel moaned and reminded me that were alone in the apartment. I started to kiss down his neck till the collar of his shirt got in the way. I decided that clothing was the devil. I ripped the cursed item from his body letting me get a good look at him.

_I can feel you all around me_

_Thickening the air I'm breathing_

_Holding on to what I'm feeling_

_Savoring this heart that's healing_

The shirt landed out in the middle of the coffee table. Axel was nothing short of a god when it came to looks. The lines cut through his chest, over his stomach and continued out of sight, under his waistband. I let my hands have the first turn. They got feel the softness of his skin and the hard muscles. I kept my eyes on Axel's but he was having a hard time not losing control. He kept his eyes anywhere but on my body. Next, my lips got a turn. Started where I left off, on the neck. My lips barely brushed behind his ear. Admittedly, I'm not a tiger in the bedroom but Axel let me know he had no problem with that. He let out a loud moan and squirmed underneath me. I felt his hands tighten around my hips. There was a very fine line now between control and chaos with Axel. He was one kiss away from forgetting that I am virgin and owning my ass right here. I got to the collar bone and sucked lightly. More movement came from beneath me. His hands stayed put and I looked up at him innocently. I could see he was trying to keep to himself but I wanted him to crack. I wanted him to go over the edge for me. I got back to my handy work, lowering myself over his left nipple. I just breathed over it and Axel tightened his grip again. Smiled and took the brown nub in my mouth. Axel did not even try to keep him mouth closed and let a whine pass his lips. I circled my tongue around it delicately, making sure I did not bite down. I switched sides and let one hand continue to work on the other. Being this close to Axel, I could hear every breath. Even as they were increasing, it sounded like the perfect rhythm. Moisture began to collect on Axel's chest making it a little steamier. After I let go of the nipple I breathed on it to causing Axel's chest to pulse. Then I gave a small bite down on the rock hard nub. Axel arched his back then lifted me and laid me down on the couch, his body pressing down from above. He settled between my legs and stole my lips. The kiss was nothing less than an atomic explosion of passion. There was no room for air. He made sure there wasn't an inch of my body that was not against his. I let my lips part and our tongues danced. His hands came up to pull gently on my hair. My head was tilted back and Axel attacked my neck. He got the same idea I had and ripped my shirt off after he unzipped my hoodie. He sat up so the material of my t-shirt could slide over my head.

"Wait…"Axel looked down at me on my elbows gazing up at him, "Are you sure this is ok?" I touched his arm and looked at the couch. I was caught in the moment and would I really regret this later? I knew I liked Axel but I did not know if I could trust him completely. I faced Axel again and decided that I needed to learn to trust. Even if it meant crying my eyes out with a bucket of ice-cream and Namine coaching me through it.

"Yeah, I trust you…" said sincerely. He beamed at me and bent down to kiss my forehead. Then he leaned in father so his lips were at the shell of my ear.

"I-if I go too far…" he stammered, "I want you to let me know. I would never want to hurt you." I slowly wrapped my arms over Axel's frame. He was not aware of the hug for a few seconds.

"I know," I replied, "That's why I trust you." He got up off the couch and extended his hand. Once I took his hand he began to lead me to the hall, to the bedrooms. I was not so sure about that, even after confessing that I trusted Axel. He noticed my lack of movement and turned to see what had stopped me. He saw the apprehension on my face and began to apologize like he did when he cleaned my face.

"I'm sorry! I-I thought we would w-want to get out of the living room," he was scared that he had scared me. But truth be told, I might had scared myself by allowing myself to trust someone else. "If Demyx comes home, we'll never hear the end of it." I knew where this was heading and I had no one to blame but myself. I had told Axel that I trusted him and I should not tell him a lie. So, I nodded and walked ahead of him. His expression was a little surprised but he followed diligently.

We got to the bed room and I immediately span around and kissed Axel. He used his foot close the door. The passion Axel had turned me on. There was a way that Axel had no control when it came to me and I liked it. His hands were on my back but they were traveling dangerously low. Now that we were standing, he almost had to lean down to reach my lips. Was not sure if I should touch him again, he might go too far. I slowly put my fingers over his waist. He didn't seem to be affected that much, so let my whole hand rest on his hips. Axel broke the kiss and lifted me in the air. He had grabbed my thighs and hauled me to the bed with my legs around his waist. We fell on to the duvet, Axel on top. I bit my lip and decided to deal with consequences later and kissed Axel all over his chest. His moaning soon restarted. I felt the vibration through his body every time he let a noise escape. Suddenly, Axel took my hands and put them over my head. He started at my lips and started to kiss down my torso. If I did not have a problem in pants before, I was now past bearable. Axel was getting closer and lower, and I was getting more and more excited. The hairs of my treasure trail were being caressed by Axel's chin. The edge was getting closer but I could not stop myself. I tried to think of anything to calm down but all I could think about was the sexy man going at my belly button with his tongue. My eyes were shut but I could see the scene in my mind perfectly. It was impossible to escape this feeling. I squeezed my eyes tighter, hoping that it would get the image of a shirtless Axel out of there.

Axel came back out to face me. He put his hand through my hair and looked me in the eye. It was perfect, this whole night I really could not have asked for a better outcome of this whole fiasco. I managed to keep my cool and calm down for a moment. Then Axel began to kiss me, I opened my mouth and let him have the dominance. His right hand slid over my ass and down my thighs, pressing our hips closer together. I could feel Axel's cock against mine, and for the first time I was the one to vocalize my pleasure. Axel got closer and started to nibble my ear.

"Someone enjoy themselves?" Axel moaned in to my neck. I had no brain power to actually reply but just quickly nodded. My breathing was out of control and the world was starting to spin. I anchored myself to Axel hooking my legs over his, also bringing us even closer. Axel took this as an invitation and grinded his hips in to mine. Now I knew I was in trouble. There was no stopping it. I moaned again, this time even louder. I had actually tried to tell Axel to slow down but there were on comprehendible words coming out of my mouth. Axel again took this as a good sign and continued to molest my mouth. My muscles were on fire and my back began to arch. A hand slithered between us and Axel seized my dick through my jeans. I broke the kiss and I cried out one last time. The motion in the room ran to a halt. My face went from twisted with pleasure to satisfaction to embarrassment in less than one minute. Axel looked down on me with a puzzled look, like a kid who was just old that there would be no desert after supper. I panicked again and darted from under Axel again.

I didn't run out of the apartment but I did lock myself in bathroom. I got to the other side of the door and slammed it shut. There was a lock on the door, thank god! I turned to lean on the door for extra security. I slid down a pooled my legs at the base of the door. _Shit!_ I whispered to myself. I could hear Axel trying to follow me through his dark bedroom. He was not all that graceful when he was stumbling in the dark. He had hit his toe twice before managing to get to the bathroom door. It was quiet for ten seconds until I heard a tiny knock on the door.

"Roxas? Are you ok?" there was a lot of concern in his voice. I was so mad at myself. I should have told him to stop and now I am a ten second jerk. There was no situation in which I could be more mortified.

"Axel? Who's in the bathroom?" Demyx had come home from his social outing. Now, I was officially dyeing of shame. I started to think of which ice-cream flavour I was going to eat with Namine tomorrow.

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><p>Tune in next time to see if Roxas ever leaves the bathroom! lol, jk. But seriously? What is with FF ending the same way? I decided that not all sex scenes should have a happy ending... Well, no happy ending for Axel anyways. I am so cruel to poor Roxas... I kinda feel bad. Hopefully Axel can save him from my evil writing skills.<p> 


	3. Jackal in heat, spit dripping

There is a very high warning for graphic sex! you are not up to for it, turn back now!

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

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><p>Axel handed me a pair of pjs and my shirt through the small opening in the door. I was downright embarrassed beyond belief. The day I wet my pants in grade one paled in comparison to what had just happened. I was ready to play it all cool and just say it was a false alarm but then a dark stain appeared on the front of my jeans. Axel lent me a pair of pj bottoms. They were big on me but I tightened the drawstring and the excess material at my feet I would have to put up with. Axel said I can use the washing machine if I wanted too. Demyx was not helping. He didn't make a big deal of it but he suggested that I stay and watch a movie with them while my clothes are being washed. There really was no other choice. What was I going to do? Sit in the laundry room for an hour and a half? Once I was cleaned up, I carefully opened the door. The living room was now well lit and the TV was on. They had put in the DVD and it was running through the trailers. I couldn't see either of them but I could hear footsteps and voices. The laundry room was to the right of the bathroom. I quickly scooted through the hall to the open door. The laundry room was only large enough for the two machines and some space to navigate from one machine to the other. I cursed myself again having to lay out my pants to take off the belt and put everything in the washer. <em>Fuck<em>, I silently swore again. If I did not have bad luck I'd have no luck at all.

I got to the living room and I saw them sitting at the dining room table, getting ready to eat. Demyx patted the chair next to him, and away from Axel.

"Can't have you too love birds going at it over diner, can we?" Demyx laughed. I tried to smile but I was aiming to die right in this moment. To now have to face Axel after what happened. There was no way I could look him the eye. It took for ever to reach the chair when I was taking such baby steps.

"Demyx brought a movie and KFC," Axel said, "He got stood up, so he brought the night out home." Demyx leaned over the table and pointed a finger at Axel.

"Hey! I did not get stood up!" Demyx defended, "He was intimidated, you should feel sorry for someone who doesn't have the courage to face the wonder that is me…" Demyx put his face up in defiance and took a chicken wing off the top of the bucket.

"What happened to Xexion?" I asked. Demyx looked at Axel and then back to me.

"We're off and on," Demyx shrugged his shoulders, "Nothing too serious." I managed to glance over at Axel's side of the table. He was smiling and eating like almost nothing had happened. I was a little bit of relief but then there was the thought that he was just playing nice. Axel caught me looking and broadened his smile. I curled the corners of my mouth and tried to give the best smile I could.

Everyone was stuffed when the meal was over and there still was lots left over. Axel cleared the table and Demyx made me sit down so he could start the movie. He had me at one end of the couch and he sat in the middle to ensure no funny business happened during his 'favourite movie in whole world'. The menu on the DVD screen was a set of old fashioned curtains on a stage with the options on it. There was a fairy in the corner too. I wasn't sure what it was about but it did look like it was in English. Once, Axel was seated on the other side of Demyx, he pressed play. Axel reached up for the light switch and let the room go dark. The movie was called Moulin Rouge. It had a lot of lights, singing and dancing. Demyx liked it because it had a magical sitar in it. The woman was beautiful and the man was handsome. They hid their love and stayed true to each other. They had a secret song that they put in to their own play to remind each other how much they loved another. It was during this song that Demyx started cry and sing along. Axel and I looked at each other behind Demyx's head. We smiled and went back to the show. In the end the woman died. She died in the arms of the man she loved in the most beautiful moment of her life. Demyx had fallen asleep after his crying fit and was resting his head on my shoulder. When the handsome man realized that she was dead he cried out. The sound was so horrible but so perfect at the same time. I could feel a tear roll down my cheek, followed by another. I could feel a fiery gaze on my face. I looked to the left to see Axel staring at me. First jizzing my pants and now I'm crying in front of the guy. I just could not catch a break. He had a gentle smile on his face. I tried to compose myself by wiping the tears away but they just came back. I turned back to the TV screen to watch the last few seconds of the movie. There was only one clip left and the credits started rolling.

"You should see if you clothes are dry…" Axel suggested. I then remembered that I had put my pants in the washer but I forgot to put them in the dryer. My eyes widened with shock. I motioned for Axel to help me get Demyx off me. "Don't worry, once he asleep, you'd need a big band in the living room to wake him up." I pushed on the blonde and got him to flop over so that he was in the middle, head in the air, mouth hanging open. I ran for the laundry room. I turned on the light and pulled out the jeans and boxers. They were clean but soaking wet. Axel appeared in the door way, watching me panic with a stoic face.

"What time is it?" I asked, if it was ten then I could dry them for a half hour and then dart to the last bus just before eleven.

"Eleven fifteen," Axel said.

"Shit! I missed the last bus…" I turned to face Axel. He wasn't much more than two feet away from me. He still hasn't learned personal space. I looked up at him and he had this confidant smile on his face. "You wouldn't happen to have car handy?" Axel shook his head. "I am sleeping on the couch." I said poker faced. I whipped back around to put the pants in the dryer. I tossed them in the front loading dryer and looked up on to the shelf above the machines for dryer sheets. They were near the back and out of my short reach. I had to go on my toes to reach them. My heels touched ground and there were hands there to greet my hips. I almost dropped the dryer sheets. Axel had enveloped me in his arms. His nose was in the crook of my neck. He pressed his body in to mine, pinning me to the front of the dryer. There wasn't enough room in the space between the wall and the dryer for me to push Axel away from me.

"I think we should start where we left off…" he gently kissed my neck and his hand traveled up my shirt.

"I don't think you want me to have to wash another set of pants…" I replied. Axel bit in to my neck and then let go.

"Who said we'd be wearing pants?" he said very throaty. His hand managed to find my nipple and flick it back and forth. His tongue traced the outline of my ear. I started to get excited, if know what I mean.

"What about Demyx?" I whispered, trying to save myself from yet another round of embarrassment.

"Don't worry! I'm going to bed!" We both stopped in our whispers and touches, caught in the act. Axel and I leaned over to look out the door. Demyx was walking in to his bedroom waving a good night. "You get laid and I have go to bed alone!" He closed the door behind him. He was just a little bit of a drama queen sometimes. We breathed a sigh of relief. I managed to wiggle out from between the dryer and Axel. I pressed the start button and the dryer came to life. Axel touched my wrist before I could leave the laundry room. He didn't have to grab my wrist, just the touch was enough to stop me in my path. He leaned down once I had come to a halt. He pressed his lips in to mine gently. This was not his style but he was nervous that I could be scared off. When I didn't turn away from the kiss, Axel took a step closer. I began to walk backwards to his bedroom which was across the hall. I suddenly realized what I was doing and put my hands out to take hold of the door frame. We separated from the kiss. I gazed up at Axel sternly and he stared at me with determination.

"Is everything ok?" he asked. I started to contemplate how to explain that I did not want to blow it this time… literally.

"I just…" I could not figure out how to convey that I was… sensitive, "I don't want a repeat performance if you know what I mean." Axel smiled and put his hand on my face.

"I took it as a complement," he explained. I smiled too, "We'll take it easier this time. I'm in no rush. Got it memorized?" He stepped up to me so that my nose was in his chest. He then picked me bridal style.

"You know I can walk, right?" I said sarcastically. He just walked in to his bedroom and used his foot to close the door again. He laughed then laid me down on the bed. He opened the covers and motioned for me to shuffle over, underneath them. After I got in a comfy position, he climbed in after me. The covers were then pulled up and over our heads. We were on our sides, facing each other. Axel didn't try to kiss me. He wanted me to go to him. I could feel his breath on my face in the dark. I leaned in and just brushed my lips on his. A hand came up to the side of my neck to pull me in closer. We kissed for what seemed like for ever, in a good way. It gave me back my confidence. Time did not seem to exist between Axel's sheets. I did not know if ten minutes or ten days had gone by. With my lips and his tongue, we kissed forever. Axel and I kept a safe distance between our bodies, even though that did not stop me from getting a little over excited every now and then, but nothing to the extent of earlier. After a good stretch of me controlling my urges, I slid closer to Axel. Our chests were nearly touching but our hips kept a good distance.

Axel was being patient but keeping hands above the neck and just kissing was helping both of us. I let Axel know I was ok to go further by putting my arms around his waist and pulling him flush to me. He rolled me on to my back so he was on top. He was the one straddling me this time so the friction was to a minimum. I let my hands flow over his torso, pulling the shirt off at the same time. I tossed the shirt off the bed and on to the floor. I pushed Axel to the side, letting him fall under me. I straddled him and leaned back to pull off my own shirt. As I was pulling the last of the shirt over my head, I felt hands on my stomach. They were gentle even if they were shaking. I bent down and let my open mouth come in contact with Axel's. I felt a set of hands start to work the knot on the drawstring of the pjs I was wearing. My hands moved quickly moved to stop them. Axel looked up and at me and could see my hesitation. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"You first…" Axel's hands took mine and put them over the knot on his pjs. I had rarely made out with anyone sober, let alone being in the same room, naked. It took a few seconds until my fingers responded to my commands. The knot took longer than usual to undo because my hands were shaking and my eyes were clasped shut. Axel noticed my discomfort and sat up. He put his knees under him so we were both kneeling in front of each other. I kept my head down. I embarrassed myself again. I wished being strong was easy. Axel kissed my forehead and gave me a hug.

"You don't have to prove anything," he whispered, "We can stop here." I shook my head in his chest. It wasn't that I was scared or that I was nervous, it was that this was the right moment. I had realized that I had done something right. I had managed to get myself to this moment, to be in Axel's arms. It was just overwhelming. I took another deep breath and let my fingers reach for the drawstring. It was easier once my eyes were open and my hands were not shaking as much. Once the knot was free, Axel's arms around me loosened. He kissed my lips before sitting back to let his legs stretch out to off the bed to take off the pants. I was ashamed to look when Axel's pants hit the floor. It was like an eclipse, I could not stare directly at him. He kept his legs off the bed, waiting for me to come to him. He had caught on to how to handle me. I was like a cat, you have to let me come to you. I put my hand on his shoulder and kissed his cheek. He finally exhaled. He turned his face so he could kiss me. I let my fingers touch the soft muscles of his chest. He started to turn his body, letting his right knee fold on to the bed. I let his tongue past my lips. I kept my eyes closed but not so tight. If I were to catch a glimpse of something… it wouldn't be the end of the world. Axel brought his other knee und him so that he was back in to a kneeling position. He hands touched my stomach, above the hem of my pants, as if to ask permission. I broke the kiss to let Axel know it was ok. He hands were a little more skilled than mine, and he had the knot undone in seconds. It was like the day you hear your tattoo artist say 'done', there is no going back. I took a shaky breath and copied Axel in the way he put his legs over edge of the bed. I felt the last of the jersey fabric float off my toes. I could not turn around for the life of me. I didn't think I'd have the same problem as before either. I was way too nervous to get a boner going. Now I just looked like a naked skinny guy who couldn't get it up. Like always, Axel knew to give me a minute.

Axel put his hands on my shoulders and let his legs fall next to mine over the bed. His lips caressed the spot where my neck meets my back. I could feel his chest on my back, his breathing was much slower than mine. He let his nose trace a circle on my neck. I let his hands intertwine around my waist. I took my hand and felt for his face. His hair was surprisingly soft. The spikes bounced back as my hands ran over them. I finally touched skin. He let out a small moan as leaned in to my hand. I let my head fall on to his chest. His hands moved from my sides and down to the sides of my hips. My breathing picked up again despite Axel's rhythmic rise and fall behind me. My eye snapped closed. Axel knew this was a sign that I was uncomfortable. He left his hands there till I started to breathe again. I inhaled then exhaled out my mouth. Axel's right hand started at my right knee and slowly massaged its way up. I was having trouble breathing again, but Axel was soon getting excited as well. He was half way up my inner thigh when my midsection stirred up. I let out a small whimper, letting Axel know that I was indeed enjoying myself. Axel's face was buried in the back of my neck. He was breathing heavy trying to keep control. That's when I noticed something that was…not there. Axel had kept himself from getting hard to keep me from getting more nervous than I already was. I felt a guilty that I was the one getting all the attention. I stood up and turned around. There was no noise again, I wished there was a leaky faucet to break the stillness. I put my hands on Axel shoulder and opened my eyes. His body was the same… only naked. Of course the first thing my male mind had to check out first was his cock. It was larger than mine, only by an inch or so but the same diameter. While I was staring, Axel took the opportunity to press his lips to the tip of my dick. I had never had a blow job before. It was now at full mast. He took the whole thing in his mouth making me cry out. I did not care if I was too loud. There was no way to explain the feeling. I pulled on Axel's hair, making him let go of my cock. I leaned down to kiss him. He put his hand behind my head to pull me in for a more passionate kiss. My tongue darted out to meet his. I kneeled down between his legs. I ran my hands up his thighs and back down again. He moaned and broke the kiss. I knew what he wanted even though he would never ask me out loud. Again, my hands hand the first turn. My fingers engulfed his semi hard penis. Tried moving my hand up and down to get things going. He reacted like a flash, he leaned back on his hands and closed his eyes. His head was still facing me and his mouth was open, letting moans and whispers escape his lips. The taught muscles of his abs tightened with excitement and a sweat begun to develop over his brow. The sight was enough to get my cock twitching.

"Oh my fucking god…" he let curses fly out of his mouth every time my hand stroked his head. It came to the time when I tried to take all of him in my mouth at one time. I finally knew what people meant when they say 'biting off more than you can chew'. The tip hit the back of my throat and I panicked. I tried to close my mouth but I remembered rule number one of blow jobs, never bite down. I did it again, another blunder. Axel only panicked for a second getting tense but then settling back down. I got his dick out of my mouth unharmed. I looked up and say him looking down at me with bedroom eyes.

"I am so sorry…" I apologized. Axel raised an eyebrow.

"Just save the deep throating for the movies…" he pulled me back up on to the bed, "Otherwise, you were doing just fine…" He got us back under the covers, side by side. We kissed and I started to grind my cock in to his. This got Axel going. I was flipped on to my back and Axel settled in between my legs.

"I-is this ok?" Axel's rushed breath.

"I think…" I replied, "I'll let you know if something is wrong." Axel then reached in to the night stand. He pulled out three magical items: lube, condoms and Kleenex. He ripped open the condom wrapper and got it on himself. Next he put more lube all over his dick and my opening. The cold liquid made me tense up. I knew that was a bad thing so I focused all my energy on relaxing. Axel put one finger at my opening and my eyes clamped shut again. He decided to take a different approach. His mouth began to work on my cock, which had started to deflate with stress. I moaned when the back of Axel's throat tightened over my head. He let my cock fall out of his mouth.

"Show off…" I grumbled. Axel just smiled up at me and continued down south. Soon, Axel's tongue fondle m opening. It felt strangely good. Axel lifted my hips to get better access. After Axel got his tongue through, he tried one finger. As he worked the opening, adding finger after finger, it got a little uncomfortable. He felt that I was ready and got in to position. He propped himself on his elbows, burrowing his head in my chest.

"Just try to relax…" he was stating the obvious but it was good advice all the same. He made sure to kiss me before he tried to get it in. Once he started to push, the uncomfortable feeling became pain. He was trying not to force it in. Tears formed at the corners of my eyes. After a minute of trying and not even getting the tip in, I was not going to go through with this.

"Stop!" I didn't yell but Axel pulled back immediately, "I can't… it hurts." Axel looked at my face and saw the tears. He held me and tried to comfort me.

"Why didn't you say something…?" Axel was nearly in tears himself.

"Didn't want to stop…" I had stopped crying, "Wanted you to get some too." Axel smiled and then laughed.

"There are many way to get some, Roxy boy…" Axel purred. He whipped off the condom in one fluid movement. He even managed to get it in the trash can. He kissed me very forcefully, letting our cocks slide over each other. I was not as hard as I could be but that would be a problem that would be solved shortly. Axel took both dicks in his fist and began to pump. Finally, now I could worry about not blowing my load. I never thought I'd be happy to be on the edge of ecstasy again. The heat created by the friction sent Axel crazy again. He began to thrust in time with the pumping. His breathing was really erratic as he got closer. His thrusts and pumps lost their time. I took over the job of jerking him off. He shuffled both of us up so that I could lean on the wall and he could he his cock in my mouth. I sucked and pumped until his face twisted in proximity. He was no longer just moaning but crying out of every stroke.

"I-I going to…" he was trying his best to get the words out, "I'm going to cum…" He pulled his hips back. He began to stroke mine and I was not too far off myself. His cock was being unattended so I reached out and got him going again. When he got close again, he began to stroke me faster, sending me closer to my climax. His back arched and his ab muscles pulsed.

"Oh, Roxas…" he said as he threw his head back. The sight of Axel in that much pleasure sent me over the edge. We both came all over my stomach.

"AH, fuck Axel!" I screamed. All I saw was white. This was ten times better than before and no embarrassment. Axel collapsed on me, not minding the jizz all over me. We both struggled to catch our breaths. Axel eventually rolled off to the side. Instead of getting a Kleenex, he began to lap up the cum off of me. Soon he realized this was a job for a hot steamy shower. We got up and both squeezed in to Axel's bathrobe. We had gotten half way to the bathroom when we noticed a figure in the hall. We stopped like deer in the head lights. It was Xexion trying to tip-toe to Demyx's room. All parties decided that it would be best if everyone continued on their way. Once, Axel and I got in to the bathroom, we had a good laugh.

Axel started to sing in the shower, it was the song I heard at the show on Friday night. We took turns soaping each other and then got out. The hall was empty again. We got back in to Axel's room and curled up underneath the covers to avoid the warm water on their skin to go cold. They kissed and then a noise disturbed us. It sounded like a bull humping a squirrel. Axel and me looked at each other with puzzled faces. Then we smiled at the thought of Demyx getting his wish. Axel rolled on to his back and I cuddled in to his side. This curtain call was worthy of dying for.

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><p>It may be a while before I can update. So, don't hold your breath for a chpter in the next few days. An remember kids, lube, condoms and kleenex! Bye!<p> 


	4. It's lookin' like another Bob Marley day

Ok, no more! this will be it for a while... I HAVE to start studying for my finals. Untill then, this will have to do. On the bright side, I have to warn you about more sex, so enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts

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><p>The sun shined directly on to Axel and me. I was pinned under him again. He had curled up around me like I was a teddy bear or something. I stretched out my arms and grunted, and Axel's gip tightened on my torso. I had slept very well even through Axel liked to move around in his sleep. The apartment was quiet. I lay there for a few minutes, watching the dust in the sunlight. My brain had not completely turned on yet. I could remember what had happened and that it was amazing but I was still too out of it to notice that it was Monday morning. The pieces clicked in my head and I realized that it was a week day. That meant Axel and me had school. I struggled to get a look at the alarm clock. Five after ten. We could still make it for the afternoon.<p>

"Axel….Ax, wake up!" I poked the mess of red hair that was resting on my stomach. It just mumbled something and turned his head to switch side of his face that he was sleeping on. "We have school!" Axel finally looked up at me with a dazed glare.

"National holiday…" Axel drawled, "No school…" I gave a sigh of relief. "If you wanted to wake me up for a morning quickie, you just had to say so." He crawled up to meet my lips. He kissed me and put his hands through my hair. Like the evil woman she was the ring tone for my mother's number sounded in the early morning silence. I wiggle out of Axel's arms and crawled on my stomach to reach the edge of the bed. My cell phone lighted up on the night stand next to the bottle of lube. I picked up the phone and pressed it to my ear.

"Axel and Roxas's taxidermy, you kill em'; we stuff em'" My mother was taken back my innuendo.

"_Roxas? Roxas, this is your mother!_" she shouted like I was deaf. I wasn't deaf just cheeky. I soon felt someone land on my back and began to molest my neck, on the side the phone was on. Axel had gotten on top of me and wanted his morning quickie.

"Yeah, I know," I replied. I tried to close the space between my neck and my shoulder so that Axel would not have access.

"_Where have you been? I nearly called the police! Namine called and said you weren't with her and Sora's mother had not heard from you either!_" She scolded. Axel laughed at the insane woman's rants but continued to kiss, bite and lick up and down my neck. "_Is someone else there? I can hear something in the background._"

"No," I avoided, "It's just the reception," Axel put his hand on my chest and pinched a nipple. I groaned while holding my finger over the receiver. Once I regained composure, I elbowed Axel in the ribs in attempt to get him in control.

"_Roxas, where are you?_" she demanded. Axel was not intimidated by my attempt to get him off me. He continued rub my nipple and lick my ear. I tried to elbow him again but before I could get my elbow wound up, he grinded his semi hard cock in to my ass. I squeaked and covered my mouth before anything else could come out. "_Roxas?_"

"I'matafriend'shouse,!" I shut the flip phone and let out a moan. Axel was slowly grinding his dick in to my backside, making me hard.

"You are going to pay for that!" I reprimanded him. Axel chuckled.

"Oh, yeah?" he chided, "How am I going to pay for that?" He whispered in to my ear. I rolled over to face him. He kissed my lips and pressed our members together. It was an instantaneous heat between us. Axel's hands were everywhere. He looked me in the eyes, "I know how you can get your payback…" He reached over my head and picked up the condoms and lube again. My eyes got wide and I shook my head.

"No," I said sternly, "I am not going through that again…" He smiled down at me.

"No, silly…" he took my cock between his fingers, "You are going to do me." In shock and pleasure, I moaned.

"You… bottom?" I asked between pants.

"For you," he gave a quick kiss, "I'd be anything." He rolled the condom over my tip and down the shaft. "Besides, I still haven't deflowered you yet." Once it was on, I flipped Axel on to his back. This time it was me between his legs. I had a small moment of being power hungry till Axel handed the bottle of lube to me. I poured a descent amount in to my palm and spread it over my covered cock. I took two slick fingers and pressed them Axel's opening. There was minimal resistance and Axel seemed to enjoy it. I gave it a few seconds until I added the second. Axel's mouth hung open with pleasure and his eyes were rolling in to the back of his head. The third finger was a little more work but when I managed to get them in as far as I could, Axel cried out.

"Oh, Roxas I want you in me so…bad…" I took this as sign. I lifted his hips and leaned over his beautiful body to kiss his chest. I slowly got to his mouth and stared to leaning in to his opening. My tip popped through the tight ring of muscles and it was smooth sailing from there. I got my self buried to the hilt and waited to let him adjust.

"For god sakes! Move," Axel said breathlessly. I began to slide out, but I did not go far before I slid back in. The pace was slow and I kept pulling back to far but Axel was too far gone to notice… and he said he wasn't a bottom. His dick was pointing up and was as hard as mine. I took it in my hands and began to pump. There was no way I could keep both rhythms, let alone get them in sync. Axel started to climax in my hands. His lips clasped together to try and keep quiet. It didn't really work because there most likely are people in China who heard him yell my name. I could feel his body shudder around my cock. I kept pumping until he was finished cumming all over our stomachs. I was not far behind. I, like Axel, was trying to keep hushed but moans and shouts were taking on a life of their own. Axel took my left nipple in his mouth and bit down. I half moaned, half cried out at the pain. I put my hand through Axel's hair encouraging him to continue sucking. My erratic pace was getting out of control as I got closer. I got my release and when I yelled out Ax's name I nearly screamed. The hot tightness was surrounding me as I spilled my seed.

Axel was spooning me and the sun was now even brighter in the room. He traced circles and my arm, soothing me, almost putting me to sleep. I was hungry and my stomach would not let me nap.

"Food," I announced without moving.

"No," Axel protested, "Don't get up…" He pulled me in closer. There was a knock on the wall that was the adjoining structure between Axel's and Demyx's room. Both of us lifted our heads in interest.

"_Can you keep it down?_" Demyx shouted, "_It's not even noon!"_ He would be one to talk, I woke up to him screaming Xexion's name last time I stayed over. We could hear Xexion trying to talk Demyx down.

"_No, we are not_ that _loud,_" there was giggling, "_Stop, Xexy that is not yours!_" We laughed and I sat up and put my feet on the hardwood. Axel held on to my waist, preventing me from leaving the bed.

"No," Axel whined, "You can't leave…" Honestly, I wondered how old Axel was. I laughed and separated his deadlock on my hips. I searched the room for my clothes, I found my shirt on a lamp and my pants were in the corner next to the door. Axel's eyes did not leave me as I walked around the room picking up articles of clothing. I had gotten over most of my shyness when it came to being naked but there was one difference. The sun was up. Axel got a good look at my body without the bias of the dark. He smirked every time I had to bend over to pick up something up off the floor. He eventually got out of the bed and I handed him his clothes. He was so good looking without clothes. His body was covered in muscle and just enough baby fat to soften out the sharp lines. I looked like a glorified stick. I had some muscles but I had no real fat to speak of. We got dressed and started to leave the room. Axel gave me a kiss on my forehead before he opened the door for me.

Axel put his pancake making skills good use. He started to make breakfast for everyone. He got excited and thought that he could put blueberries or some other fruit in them but there was nothing his fridge, so it was plain pancakes. I took my phone and stole a smoke from the front room. The door to the deck was on the far side of the living room. I opened the door and sat at the table and chair patio set. Namine had left three texts letting me know I should call her. I pressed two on speed dial and lit the cigarette.

"_Moshi moshi?_" Namine answered the phone.

"It's Roxas," I replied.

"_Roxas! Where have you been?_" she demanded.

"Now, you sound like my mother…" I commented. The sun was warm on my face and I was enjoying being on the deck. "You told me to call and I'm calling."

"_Where were you all night?_" she asked politely now that she was calm.

"Um, Axel's…" I hinted.

"_Roxas… Did what I think happen…happen?_" I knew there was no way to avoid this so…

"Well, kinda…" I said vaguely. I took a drag of my cigarette. I pulled the phone away from my ear until the squealing subsided.

"_Oh my god, Roxas I am so happy for you!_" she congratulated me, "_So, I need details!"_ Axel walked on to the deck with two plates stacked with sugary breakfast cakes.

"Sorry, Namine, I have to go," I pleaded, "I'll talk to you tonight." I listened for her goodbye and then closed the phone.

"How's Namine?" Axel asked. He put a plate in front of me and then sat down next to me with his plate.

"Good," I laughed, "she seems to approve of you." Axel fist pumped the air.

"Yes!" he laughed, "I don't think I could date you if Namine didn't approve…" There was one keyword that stuck out at me.

"So…" I asked innocently, "we are dating?" Axel looked at me with a mouth full of pancake.

"I think after last night we are…" Axel answered, "If you'd like, we can go do it again for good measure." I laughed and hit him in the arm.

"No, I agree," I nodded and dug in to my pancakes. Demyx walked out with Xexion, holding their own set of pancakes. Demyx must have forgotten that he just had his boxers on.

"Demyx!" Axel shook his head, "Where are your shirt and pants… At least go put on your pants!" Demyx looked down at his body and shrugged his shoulders.

"What? We're all guys?" Demyx defended, "It's not like we're at a five star restaurant." I laughed and shielded my eyes from the sun reflecting off his pasty skin. They sat down and started two eat with us. Xexion at least had his jeans on.

"So, Xexion," I started a new topic of conversation, "How did you end up here last night?" Xexion's hand stopped halfway to his mouth. He looked to Demyx who looked down at his plate.

"Came here to see if I was ok after the coward did not show," Demyx defended and Xexion nodded. A smile spread over Axel's face.

"You booty called him! Didn't you?" Axel exclaimed, "You called him up and made him come all the way over her for sex!" I laughed out loud and put my hand over my mouth to keep food from leaving it.

"No, he didn't," Xexion denied sternly. Demyx put his hand up to signal Xexion to stop talking so he could interrupt.

"Wait a second!" Demyx challenged Axel, "Are you saying it's a bad thing if he crossed town for me?" Demyx pointed his fork at him. Axel just laughed as Demyx had the hissy fit of the century.

Once breakfast was done, Axel, Xexion and I lounged on the deck. We talked about nothing in particular, bands and celebrities. Demyx jumped out on to the deck with a tray of orange juice in regular looking glasses.

"Mimosas!" Demyx shouted.

"It's not even twelve," Axel mimicked Demyx's earlier comment. Demyx looked in to the apartment and checked the wall clock.

"Yeah…" Demyx contemplated, "You and your screamer already broke that rule." I turned bright red. There were only two lawn chairs, so Demyx copied me and sat on Xexion's lap. I had my head resting on Axel's chest. His breathing reminded me of last night. He handed out the glasses and we all clanked them together.

"To good friends!" They cheered. I smiled and sipped the sweet concoction. This was an even better scene.

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><p>So, this will have to be it for a few days. I also need to lay off the sex and work on the plot. I know what you are thinking... Why do you need plot when you have porn. Well, I do have a planned ending for this master piece and Axel and Roxas cannot hump their way to it. Till next time, byebye!<p> 


	5. You hate what you don't know

I just realized that I had not spelled Zexion's name right... That will be the last time I translate Katakana with out checking it in English! I swear!

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts

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><p>We spent the day hanging around the apartment and drinking beer. Demyx taught me how to play Crazy Train in the guitar. I was so stoked to learn something that I could play through the entire song. I learned a few easier songs from MCR and The Used. Zexion and Axel were in the kitchen talking when I made them come listen to my progress. They clapped at the end. Zexion pointed out the songs were really easy and Demyx slapped him up side the head. Axel took over as the teacher and made me learn Smells Like Teen Spirit.<p>

"Ok, you fingers have to…" Axel was sitting behind me, on the couch, with his hands over mine, directing my fingers, "In a line like… That!" I got all my fingers on the same fret. "Now, down, up, down," I followed his instruction slowly. He leaned over the neck of the guitar to see what my fingers were doing. "See, you can't let your fingers touch the stings except for where they are on the fret, or else the sound won't be clear." His cheek brushed over mine and my eyes closed, "Roxas? Got it memorized?"

At seven in the evening, I headed home with a clean pair of pants. I got home and avoided my mother by coming in the house by the backdoor. She was in the front room, entertaining her quilting group. I just snuck past them. I took a shower and settled in. The last twenty four hours had not sunk in yet. Axel and what had happened seemed like a faraway dream. I called Namine to let her get the lowdown on what trouble I had gotten myself in to.

"_So… You weren't the one getting probed?_" Namine asked after I told her the general idea of what had happened.

"No, like I said…" I sat down on my bed, "He couldn't get it in," but I had become determined to figure out the mystery. I had planned to prepare myself for next time Axel and I were in bed.

"_And you guys are dating?_" she questioned.

"Yeah," I sighed, I still couldn't believe it.

"_Roxas… I am really happy that you're happy,_" Namine said.

"Thanks," I replied, "So, what have you been up to since I last saw you?"

"_Um… Well… You know, things,_" she stuttered. There was something she wasn't telling me.

"Namine…?" I was sure that there might be a man behind all this.

"_Yes?_" she sqeaked.

"Who is he?" I interrogated.

"_He's no— I mean there is no man!_" Namine was just as bad as I was at lying.

"Namine," I stated.

"_Ok, so me and Sora—_" she didn't get a chance to explain her self because I had to express my disbelief.

"SORA?" I yelled loud enough that Namine would get a taste of her own medicine.

"_Let me finish!_" she demanded and I listened, "_He was walking Kairi and me home and I invited him to stay to sober up…" _The story was so juicy I wasn't going to interrupt, "_I woke up the next morning and he was in my bed, I didn't think anything of it,_" It wasn't uncommon for Sora or me to crash in a bed with Kairi or Namine. "_But he was acting weird and I couldn't remember how I got to bed,_" Again, not that unusual for Namine to back out after one too many drinks, "_I get a call from Sora yesterday night,_" probably why she tried to get a hold of me, "_apologizing for Friday night…" _I waited and it seemed like that was the end of the story.

"What did he apologize for?" I asked.

"_I don't know!_" she exclaimed, "_He wouldn't say."_

"And you can't remember what happened once you went to bed?" I was putting the pieces together.

"_No,_" she answered, "_I had a drink or two once we got home. God! Roxas, did I do something…?_"

"I think if you would know if you did something that you really regret," I told her. She took a deep breath and exhaled.

"_I'm not sure what I'd do without you…_" she admitted. I laughed.

"Draw doujinshi?" I recommended. She giggled and agreed.

I called Sora later that night, just to catch up. I didn't mention anything about Namine or what we had talked about. I let sleeping dogs lie. He was very glum though. My mother didn't try and spy on me for once. Usually, I had to dig trenches to keep her from invading my privacy. I settled down to go to bed and realized that she hadn't even come to interrogate me about my where abouts for the twenty four hours. It made me suspicious. Any opportunity to yell at me, she wouldn't pass it up. In the morning I couldn't find her. She wasn't in the house and I took it as a blessing. At this rate, I could graduate and would never have to see her. My school uniform felt so weird to wear after the events of the weekend. It had been what seemed like for ever since I had to put it on. The time it would take to graduate seemed even longer… Two weeks, and I'm free.

Axel kept things cool at school. It wasn't like we stayed at opposite ends of the room, but we kept the touching to a minimum. Every now and then we'd catch each other's eye and smile like love sick puppies. It was kinda stupid actually, we were the most unoriginal couple but it didn't really matter to us. At lunch, at our tree, we sat together and even got a couple kisses in. I liked this new version of life. It had a better rhythm. Speaking of rhythms, we went to the loft where Kudou and my band were going to practice. It was about three blocks from Axel and Demyx's apartment.

We had gotten there early. There were pieces of equipment and blocks for sets littered all over the stage. There was lighting equipment piled in the alcove of the farthest corner and covered in a tarp. The single light bulb gave the room a dreary impression. The room was unfinished leaving the concrete uncovered and wiring exposed over the ceiling. This is what I thought being inside a skeleton would feel like. Axel was digging through the mess of flood and spot lights to set up. He was wearing a navy hoodie over his uniform but still had the stupid dress pants on. Although, Axel did look sexy in almost anything. I circled the room looking at the detail of the wiring and the dusty equipment that was sitting in the corner opposite of the lighting equipment. All of the junk looked like it was there for a good reason. They most likely kept this stuff around for spare parts. A microphone sitting on the top of the pile caught my eye. I picked it up and turned to Axel.

"Can I have this?" I yelled and jumped up and down. Axel looked under his arm so that he didn't have to let go of the post of a flood light. He was taken back and dropped it. A red eye brow rose at the bright pink mic.

"If it works…" he continued to pull the flood light out of the stack, "Why would you want a pink mic?"

"Why not?" I asked. I liked it and I really don't like pink. It was one of those things you had to like. Like Axel, I didn't like guys like him but for some reason, I had to have it. Axel had gotten the flood light going at was in the process of getting a second, when everyone from Kudou showed up. Demyx and Zexion came as a pair, but they seemed to keep their distance. I was starting to wonder if they weren't supposed to be together while they were in the band. Saix brought his guitar case down the stairs. I remembered the looked he had on his face on Saturday morning and determined that was just his face. He walked around with an angry face, it had nothing to do with me waking him up abruptly. Demyx pulled out the glitteriest base that I had ever seen. Last week I was too drunk to remember what his guitar looked like. The three man band was pretty good from what I could hear. I liked Axel's black Epiphone guitar, was studio shaped and had a grey shine to it. Zexion's long arms made him the perfect drummer but I didn't expect that much energy from the usually quiet guy.

Their time slot came to a close and Hayner, Pence, Riku and Yuffie came down the stairs hauling a few boxes. Yuffie was all excited to hear about Axel and me. I looked over at Axel and he shrugged and turned to the rest of his band. Demyx was looking at his base, making sure he did not look guilty.

"Demyx?" Axel got his attention.

"Yup?" he smiled at Axel and me.

"Who else did you tell?" Axel asked. He looked like my mother when I was younger, telling me not to lie.

"Um, just close friends…?" Demyx scratched the back of his head.

"So, everyone we know?" Axel gave a defeated look.

"Yeah, basically," Hayner joined in. We got to work on setting up. As far as I understood, I was to sit out most of the practice to listen and come up with the lyrics. Riku had tried to write some but they were weak and vague. They also entrusted me with naming the band. They had a really heavy sound, so I figured my spots were going to be in the lows. I asked Hayner if there would be a need for a rhythm guitar in the future. He said maybe, but I kept my hopes up. Axel came and sat next to me on the floor and helped me with the lyrics. He was surprised at my ability with words, something about being so quiet. They finished up with the practice and we all gathered around to decide on a name.

"So, I got Aerials?" I looked around the room and saw a lot of shaking heads.

"Sounds like we're a mermaid…" Pence commented.

"Faceless Serenity?" I called out. I saw Yuffie nodding enthusiastically. The rest of them were not. "Ok…next."

"Awe… I liked that one…" Yuffie pouted.

"Organization Thirteen?" I watched for signs of a negative. They all began to nod and agree.

"I don't mind it," Riku said.

"Why thirteen?" Hayner asked.

"Good as any other number I guess," I replied, "So are we agreed? Organization Thirteen?" They all gave a yes and that was the end of our little meeting. Axel walked me to the train station and kissed me goodbye. I wished I was more independent. I didn't want to go home to my mother. I had a part time job but I never made more than six thousand yen a month. I was going to try and find a job that paid more over the summer. I wanted to get my own place with my own set of rules. All the way home I daydreamed of my apartment and what Axel and I would do it to break in the place. I got home and it was nearly ten. It was late for a 'school night' but I was getting so close to the end of school that I really was starting to not care. I got my key in the lock and tip toed to the stairs. The lamps in the living room but I couldn't see the wicked witch of the waste anywhere.

"Roxas," I jumped and saw my mother had snuck up behind me. It might sound weird but she was even shorter than me but there were sumo wrestlers who were scared of her. I lost my balance and the first stair prevented me from stepping back to regain it. I fell hitting my tailbone on one of the steps. "We need to talk…" She ripped me from the stairs by my tie on my uniform. I was dragged in to the living room where there were several items sitting on the coffee table. The most noticeable was my laptop with all my porn, emails and other incriminating evidence on the hard drive. The next was a cellphone bill with all my texts and their contents. Amongst the stack of papers from the school declaring I had not applied to take any college entrance exams, was bottles of Jack Daniel's, dirty mags and an empty pack of cigarettes.

"Mom I was going—"I was not sure how I was going to bullshit my way out of this one.

"I do not care…" she scowled, "Roxas, I am no longer your mother. I cannot believe this!" I stood up and got ready for the fight of my life. I shook my head and pulled at my hair. She did this to every one of my siblings, she pushed them till they cracked. "You are turning in to a monster! You are dishonouring your family!"

"What? Are you mad that the perfect son wouldn't sit by when you yelled dad in to the grave?" I shouted, "You know why none of them come back to see their mother? It's because you never were our mother! How do you think I managed to outlast him? I had to put every pill and drug in me to look at your face!" She did look like she was being affected by my rant, but pursed her lips and flattened a wrinkle on her skirt. I was tired of the lies and her fake life that she used everyone to build. She would tell us we were ugly and usless. Every time she told me I would never be good enough it put me under the bottle even farther. I pointed at all the objects on the table. "And you think this is bad? You should see the ass I fucked this weekend!" I yanked at the collar of my uniform, ripping the buttons, "You made this! All this is because you couldn't bare to say that you loved me… Can't you see why?" I was starting to cry from the flood emotions I had hid so well.

"I only did what was right for this fami—" she still kept her composure. She had readjusted her posture.

"Don't pull that fucking bullshit!" I yelled with distain, "You never wanted a family… you wanted slaves… You just beat them till they all broke." The room was silent except for the sound of my footsteps on the carpet and the pounding in my head. Dad had always said there was a good person in my mother but whatever that was, went to the grave with him. I could feel my throat scratch and itch with a sob that needed to come out.

"You are… to pack as much as need," she started, "and leave tonight. You are no longer welcome in this house." My jaw fell open and I let out a cry. I knew she could be a bitch but this was low, even for her. I stopped and took a breath. I quickly picked up the laptop and booze. I was going to need those.

The light in the hall was off and I tripped several times getting up the stairs. I got to the top of the stairs and looked down the hall at the five empty bed rooms. They all had not been touched since they left. I wondered if mine would be the same, frozen in time. It gave me an idea and I walked in my room. The only luggage I owned were meant for long trips and were large and bulky. They would have to do for now. I threw all my clothes and personal belongings in them. Namine had given me several of her sculptures from her art classes. I was scared that the rushed packing might hurt them. I wrapped them in t-shirts and hoped for the best. There was no noise in the house but my packing. I prayed for the TV to turn on spontaneously. Maybe the poltergeist would come back and take his mother home, because I didn't want her anymore. The window began to ripple with spring rain. I was going to be kicked out on a rainy night? Might as well put me in a cardboard box while you're at it. I had to sit on the top of the suit cases to close them. I got everything I thought I would need, anything else, I could buy later. I put the straps of both bags over each shoulder. I laid the paper on the desk. They were the lyrics Axel and me had written this afternoon. I wondered if I should tell him. No, we weren't that far in our relationship and it might scare him.

I sat on the curb and waited for the taxi. If I took the train this late, with all my belongings, I might get robbed. That would be the icing on the cake. I was using the last of my money to take a cab from the suburbs, where I was, to the city where Sora lived. I had called him and said it was an emergency. He said it was ok for me to come over. He mom was a nurse and worked nights. The cabbie helped me put the heavy bags in the trunk. I hoped that the bags were water proof. I got in the warm and dry back seat. The trip seemed long, longer since I was trying not to cry. I wasn't like I couldn't have seen this coming. The woman was a witch but it hurt all the same. I tried to think how this could play out. I could drop out and go looking for a job tomorrow morning. I huffed, two weeks left and I drop out now. The irony killed me. I got paid on Thursday. I could try and get a small place. It would be a hole in the wall but it would have to do. My mind went back to the daydream and how I was now living the reality of it. Be careful what you wish for.

I got to Sora's and he was waiting for me on the street. He took one of the suit cases without asking questions. I guess he knew just as much I as I did that this day would come. The shirt he had on was soaked but he didn't seem to mind. We got the heavy luggage up the stairs and got it to the tiny apartment. It was only a two bedroom, enough room for Sora and his mom. I got my wet shoes off and a mess of light blonde hair was hugging me.

"I'm so sorry Roxas…" she was crying and it made my façade crack, "We here for you, ok?" She pulled back and made sure I nodded in understanding. They got me to the couch and Sora had gotten me a cup of coffee. I took the bottle of JD's out of my school bag and filled the remaining space in the cup with whiskey. I sipped away at the mug and no one said anything. I don't think they knew what to say.

"Have you called Axel?" Sora questioned, almost inaudible.

"No…" the corners of my mouth twitched and my eye filled with tears. I had gained so much just to lose it all. That fucking bitch… I had a graphic image of me doing something that could put me in jail for life. I set the mug down on the coffee table and put my head in my hands. The sobs broke through and I let myself get all of it out. Namine hugged me and Sora rubbed my back. "I don't know what to do… Everything that I worked for is going to go away…" Namine hushed me and started to rock me.

"You can't give up, Roxas," she soothed, "This is just a setback…" I smiled at her. She knew that was an understatement but there wasn't anything else to say.

"B-bullshit…" I laughed through the tears. She gave a half-hearted smile. Namine sat with me till I cried myself to sleep. I dreamed of the moshpit. It was Axel's concert again. He was holding on to my belt. The buckle broke and I fell in to the people's arms, only they never came. I kept falling through the air until I hit pavement. I shot up off the couch at the sensation of falling. The room was dark but there were other people in the room with me. I couldn't see who they were through the fog of just waking.

"Shh, Roxy… It's me," it was Axel's voice. I fondled the air until I felt his arms and grabbed him in to a hug. He held me through another attack of sobs. Namine helped Sora and Zexion get my things to Zexion's car. I sat in Axel's lap until everything was ready to go. Zexion nodded at Axel and he lifted me up as he stood. He carried me bridal style out of the apartment, down the stairway and all the way to Zexion's car. He let me put my feet on the ground so I could sit in the back seat.

"I can walk you know…?" I half joked. Axel put his hand on the back of my head and kissed my forehead. He opened the front door and sat down. Sora walked up to me looking painfully guilty.

"I'm sorry Roxas…" he said to his sneakers, "I'd keep up here if I could…" I shook my head.

"No, I understand…" I have him a hug and then I gave one to Namine. I waved at both of them and got in the backseat.

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><p>Well, howda like them apples? we can only hope that Roxas can continue on! fighting!<p>

that is all for now, Byebye


	6. Mama, we all go to hell

Thank you for the reveiws! This is a shorter one but perpare for major drama in the next chapter. I am talking about the OC on steriods... till then, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts

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><p>I sat in the shower for half an hour. Axel went on ahead to school without me. He kissed me goodbye and told me there was breakfast in the fridge before he left me in the bed. I came to accept the reality of my situation. It left me a little shell shocked for two hours when I woke up. The sun was out, drying the moist earth from last night's rain. I lay in bed and watched the sun move across the room. Once it got to the same spot it was on Monday, telling me it was ten in the morning, I got up and felt my way to the bathroom. My eyes stung from being so dry that I didn't open them more than I had to. I turned the tap to as hot as my skin could take.<p>

The fridge had a McDonald's bag sitting in it. There was black sharpie letters in the front.

_Dear Roxy,_

_I think that a good cry goes well with McDonald's…and there is ice-cream in the freezer,_

_Love Axel and Demyx._

They left me a breakfast sandwich and hash brown thing. It tasted pretty good cold. I opened the freezer and found a pint of sea salt ice-cream. I put the sandwich in my mouth and moved my breakfast to the living room. I set out my feast of junk food across the table and turned on the TV. There was nothing on but Oprah and soap operas. I went with Oprah. They started to give a new fat free toaster away to everyone in the audience and I turned it off. I didn't need to watch people get free shit when I didn't have dick shit. I put the half eaten ice-cream container back in the freezer and threw out the fast food containers. I stood in the kitchen for a few minutes. I couldn't decide what I would do first. It was a moment where nothing seemed interesting or necessary. I felt stuck. There was nothing to push or pull me forward. I was lost in the stillness of my disparity. What could be worthwhile when I was doomed to fail? I could feel tears welling up again. My arm wiped the wetness from my face and I caught something in the corner of my eye. It was Axel's acoustic guitar.

I spent the whole afternoon writing. I didn't know much about the music end of things but I found sheet music all over the house and used it to base the rhythm and timing so that I could develop the song. I continued this all throughout the day. I sat on the deck and strummed the tune and rhythm for the new words. It got windy after three and I moved inside. I was feeling much better by the time Demyx came home, although it might have just been the fact that I was distracted from my depression. He had two grocery bags in his hand and his iPod in his ears. He took down the hood of his black jacket and realized I was in the room.

"Roxas! How was your day?" he greeted me. His happy attitude was annoying me a little but I put up with it.

"Fine, I guess…" I shrugged and turned for the living room. Before I could escape, he asked me a question.

"Goya or yakitori?" he asked, holding two microwaveable meal boxes.

"Don't you cook?" I asked back.

"Nope, I'd rather go play my guitar," he answered, "Goya or yakitori?" I pointed at the dumplings. Demyx put the microwaveable dish in the microwave and put rice in the cooker.

"I wrote some songs today…" I piped up after a few minutes of sitting at the kitchen table watching Demyx. He looked over at me and smiled.

"Did it help?" he pressed the on button for the rice cooker and sat down with me. I nodded.

"On a different note, did you eat all the ice-cream?" he asked very seriously. I smiled and shook my head. Demyx jumped up and skipped to the freezer.

While supper was being attacked by radioactive waves, Demyx sat down and helped me with the songs that I had written. He even started to write out the music. The rice was five minutes from being done when Namine, Sora and Kairi arrived. Demyx ushered them to the table and put the Yakitori in the microwave so there would be enough food for everyone. I was not in the mood for conversation but having them there was nice. They didn't press me to talk all that much they mostly talked amongst themselves and with Demyx. They still had their uniforms on and had their book bags too. They must have just come over after school.

"Where's Axel?" Sora asked looking over the apartment.

"He's at work, he won't be back till tonight," Demyx replied. Namine gazed over at me. I knew she wanted to ask if I was ok but she already knew the answer and that it would be rude to ask. I looked at her and she smiled sympathetically. I shook my head in the direction of Sora. Namine's eyes widened and she shook her head frantically. It earned a tiny smile from me. She slapped my shoulder and I faked extreme pain. We had a nice meal together. They were here mostly to see if I had lived through last night. I think I did…

I stepped out of the bathroom and was face to face with a panicked Namine. She looked over her shoulder to make sure that no one was coming down the hall.

"He still hasn't talked to me…" she said defeated, "He hasn't even looked at me… Rox, I think something did happen. I can feel it…" I nodded in agreement.

"The best thing I think you can do is try and let it blow over," I recommended, "You guys are best friends, this shouldn't be that bad. It will be nothing in a few days, ok?" I gave her a hug and I saw Sora walking towards the bathroom. He saw Namine and me hugging. His face dropped and I tried to say something. He turned before I could even open my mouth. Whatever this was, it was no longer just affecting Namine and Sora. It could tear the whole group to pieces.

The papers were scattered around me as I slept, face down, at the kitchen table. I had continued to work on my songs after the trio had left. Demyx went in to his room to watch TV or something. Either way, I had not seen him in hours. I passed out around nine and had started to drool over the notes and words on the pages. Axel came through the front door and saw me at the table. He put his bag down and took off his shoes. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I snapped up from my slumber.

"Hey, I thought you might be dead…" he laughed. I shook off the fog and looked at him.

"I feel like it…" I replied. I was still not back to real life. I felt like there was me away from everyone else, living their life. Axel pulled me in to his arms. I wrapped my arms over his waist, anchoring myself to someone who was moving forward. If I held on long enough, maybe I could drift along with him. "Don't you think I'm damaged goods?" He looked down at me with an eyebrow raised.

"No, why?" he asked perplexed, "Do you?"

"Think you're damaged?" I thought Axel was the only person who had not been hit in this shit storm, why would he be damaged?

"No," he shook his head, "Think that you are damaged?"

"Well, I'm not one piece," I answered, "That's for sure." Axel squeezed me in to his chest.

"More of you for me to love!" he laughed but I just looked up at him. Love? Was that just part of the saying or did he mean it. It could have just been a slip of the tongue when he said the phrase. It wasn't like it wasn't popular. It just was never used on me. Being this skinny, I rarely got many fat jokes. He realized what he had said and let go of me. I was taken back by his reaction. Was it because I didn't say it back or because I made a big deal of it?

Axel was in the shower and I had settled down to watch TV. It was a primetime drama about a girl and her BF having to deal with teen pregnancy. _Suckers… should have just gone gay._ That was one problem that Axel and me never had to worry about. I don't think I could deal with having a uterus and having to decide if I should tell Ax that I love him at the same time. I did tip my hat to the girls though. They seemed to tough it out. I got disinterested in the story at the same time I heard the spray of the shower start. Axel was naked in the shower without me. Then I thought about the awkward moment a few minutes ago and decided that it would be a bad idea to jump his bones. But it still was an option. I needed to blow off some steam. I turned the TV off and marched to the bathroom. My shirt was off by the time I got to the laundry room. I threw it in Ax's hamper. I think if your laundry is in the same hamper in the laundry room that you shared, you could say the L word.

Axel had not closed the shower curtain all the way once I peeked in the door. The sound of the shower covered the noise of the door opening and closing. I peeled off my jeans and pulled off my boxers. The back of Ax's hair moved so that I could see it through the opening in the curtain. He let the water slick the spikes to his back. The red hair rippled over his strong back. I slipped through the curtains and kissed him on the shoulder. He jumped a little and then turned to me. I put my forehead in the middle of his chest and didn't look up. If I was going to say this, I don't think I could look up.

"I-I love you too…" I stammered. His hand was on my chin lifting my head. His lips crashed in to mine and he laid my back against the tile wall of the shower. He broke the kiss and his hands lowered to my shoulders, our noses still touching. If he had opened his eyes, I couldn't tell. Mine were still shut tight.

"I didn't mean…" he tried to explain, "I was just… I love you, Roxas. I didn't mean to scare you." I opened my eyes. Axel was so close. I guess I had gotten used to his lack of personal space. It was just a part of who he was. He leaned in for a kiss and I jumped on him, putting my arms around his neck.

We got settled in to bed. I was not that tiered but Axel was beat. He put his head on my stomach, causing his wet hair to seep in to my shirt. I thought he had fallen asleep when he pointed at my stack of paper on the night stand.

"How much did you write?" he asked. I lifted the papers and flipped through them.

"Too much," I looked at the scribbles, "I'll probably cut most of it out…" Axel touched the paper.

"Can I hear?" he asked quietly. He didn't ask to read them but hear them. I wasn't one for sharing, Axel knew this. He wouldn't ask if he wasn't truly curious.

"Ok…" I pulled out the one that had gotten the most attention all day. Demyx hadn't even seen this one. I was too nervous to try and sing out the words, they were just going to be said.

"If love is just a feeling

Did you feel it?

When you bled

Nothing comes to you

When it comes to daisies in the rain

You're just pushing for the next

Can you see the meadow?

It's filled with us

Just for you

We couldn't help you

In your pity parade

But I did rain on it

Can you see it?

Just for you

I'm such a pretty little flower"

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><p>The poetry was off the top of my head... I apologize for it's horribleness. Is Roxas getting better? Find out next time. Till then, Byebye!<p> 


	7. The cruelest dream, reality

So, now I am done my finals and can devote more time to these stories... hopefully. Sorry for the wait but I promise to make it up to you in plot!

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts

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><p>I made it to school the next day. Axel kept an eye on me but I made it through the day. Demyx and him had decided that I could stay in the apartment, rent free, until I graduated. Once I got across the finish line, I had to pay my share of the rent. I said I'd look for my own place but they said that it would be cheaper if we all pitched in to the rent here. School was more boring than usual. Everyone was getting ready for college exams but Axel and I had none. We would tell the teacher we were going to study in the library to get out of the class. Let's just say we got very fluent in anatomy between the book shelves. Things were starting to pan out for me. I felt like I might make it in the world.<p>

On the weekends we'd hang at the apartment by day and the basement by night. The band and I were coming along well. We were thinking of doing our first show in May. We had six whole songs! The songs were getting a lot of complements as well. Kudou came and watched us a few times. Even Zexion gave the thumbs up. Axel taught me how to swing my (pink) mic like the pros. I hit myself in the face for the first little while and Demyx made me practice on the deck. Sora came and watched but Namine and Kairi didn't and were growing distant. It was making me worry. Nothing to do with my recent abandonment issues. I had called them both and kept them up to date but it wasn't the same. I missed them.

Ax and I hadn't actually had sex since that Monday. We worked at it though. I couldn't help but feeling guilty that it was my fault or something. He made sure that I knew he wasn't mad or anything but it still ate at my conscience. Axel was more experienced than I was, and it hit me right in the self-esteem. I wasn't from a lack of trying. It didn't help that there was a pair of rabbits in the next room. I think Demyx should have been the lead singer of the band with the high notes he could hit. Zexion was over every other night or whenever Demyx got horny and/or lonely. They were really mad about each other though. It wasn't all about the sex… surprise, surprise. They would spend hours in the early mornings, when I was awake and Ax was still snoring, they would whisper back and forth about absolutely nothing. I could never hear exactly what they were saying but I could hear Demyx when he got excited and raised his voice.

It was the Friday before our grad and we all went out to celebrate. Even Sora and Namine managed to come down to the basement. We had heard of the band through the grape vine and they were supposed to be quite good. It was Demyx, Zexion, Sora, Namine, Riku with Ax and me at the bar.

"Omedetogozaimasu!" (congratulations) Everyone clinked glasses at the grads who were Sora, Namine, Axel and myself. Instead of champagne, we had whiskey. It seemed more fitting. I got here. I took a lot of effort but I made it.

"Bartender!" Demyx yelled with an English accent, "Pour us another bottle of your finest!" Axel gave me a kiss and Demyx got everyone another round. Namine put her hand over her, still full, glass. I watched as Sora looked at her with distain. Something was very wrong. Sora was not that kind of guy to glare at his best friend. Just what we need, more drama to the already boiling pot.

The band started up and everyone, except the crazies, stood at the back. Axel, Riku, Zexion and me went running for the mosh pit. I would never get tiered of this. We went at it till our limbs shook and our bodies were bruised. The soles of our shoes never touching the floor longer than a humming bird's heartbeat before we were transient again. I want to be at the front again so I could be as close as I could to the band. Axel found me at the front and he stood behind me, taking all the force of the mosh pit, also getting to grind his member against my black jeans. He kissed at my neck and made me look like a girl in front of everyone in the mosh pit.

"You have no idea what I want to do to you right now…" he yelled in my ear so I could hear over the speakers, "You look so hot right now, all sweaty…" He was sexy too tonight. He had the tightest pair of jeans he had on with a white shirt. The white made his hair look even bolder. There were things I wanted to do to him too. But for now, I wanted revenge for making me look like his uke. I smiled and turned around and pushed him in to a circle pit. He disappeared in to the blur of raging bodies, flying across the floor. I ran in after him. I jumped over the fallen and helped those I could. I was ripped out of the circuit by someone pulling me out by my waist. Axel lifted me up and carried me to the back. I struggled in his arms, screaming that 'I can walk you know!'. When we got to the back, he let me down and I punched his arm to defend my pride. Demyx handed us refreshments like a personal butler. Namine had not touched her drink and Sora was at the edge of the group pouting. Shit was going down… It was just not stinking up the room yet.

After all the noise, we walked home in the quiet street, recanting the good times we had that night. We were all bussed from the whiskey and none of us could walk a straight line. Sora and Namine had broken off to the side and started to talk for the first time tonight. I kept an eye on them to make sure everything was ok. I had never seen Sora angry and drunk I didn't know what to expect. Namine was close to crying and Sora was not letting up on whatever they were talking about. She was looking at me, pleading me not to intervene with her eyes. Sora was whispering next to her and couldn't hear what he was talking about. Namine finally broke out in sobs and covered her eyes. I was going to break up the fight when Namine screamed suddenly.

"If you don't want us then don't even try! I know you never wanted me, but I guess I didn't make a good runner up!" she yelled and began to sob harder, "I'll get rid of it that's what you want!" She ran off in the direction of the train station fifty feet away. We all stood in shock. Sora balled his fists and turn to keep walking to the apartment. Some of us tried to talk to him on the way but he avoided the conversation all together. He got to the living room and began to haul back a bottle of tequila.

"Roxas…" Axel whined. He was in bed, face down, "I'm begging… Come to bed!" His muffled voice was not hitting my ears. My mind was a little preoccupied.

"Like, I knew there was something was wrong but…" I sighed dramatically. I had gotten my PJs on, not realizing that Ax was naked. We all had had a few, just so Sora was not drinking alone, so we were a little tipsy. I had put him to bed in the bath tub as Riku was on the couch and was the sober one of the two. Sora was going to be in a lot of pain tomorrow, a little neck stiffness would be masked by a cranium splitting headache. Plus, he's one foot away from the toilet when his stomach turns inside out. "How can you not know you had sex?"

"I know I do…" Ax whined in to a pillow.

"This is going to kill Kairi…" I continued, ignoring the hot mess on the bed, "She and Sora have had a crush on each other forever." I stopped pacing and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Finally," Axel jumped from the sheets and tackled me in to the bed.

"How can you think about sex at a time like this?" I asked the man who was molesting my boxers.

"Easy…" He muffled in my neck between bites, "Once your feet leave the floor…" He gazed up at me with lust, "You're mine." He growled and pulled me under him. I stared up at the green eyes and I knew.

"You want to try it again…" I said what was on everyone's mind. We had not tried to actually do it since the fiasco two weeks ago. But every time we got busy, we would make sure certain areas got worked. "B-but Ax, we have the grad ceremony t-t-tomorrow…" I tried to defend myself but it was useless against his touch. He touched the tip of my cock over my pants and I started to see his point. There was a way to think of sex at a time like this.

Axel put his hands in my PJs and found what he had been looking for. He pulled at my erection, forcing a moan from my lips. His thumb pressed in to the tip every time his fist reached the end of my cock. I could feel his need through my pants. He ground his cock in to my thigh. The heat traveled from his groined to my own. He lifted himself off me and whipped off my pants and boxers in one motion. The cold air was a shock and I breathed in with excitement. Ax went to work on my cock with his lips, studying every inch. His tongue ran up the length of my shaft and his hand was massaging my hips. I pulled him up to kiss him passionately. He tugged at my shirt and I sat up. It came over my head and all I could see were green eyes.

"Are you sure you're ready?" he asked.

"We'll never know until we try…" I replied. He reached for the lube as usual. There were so many thoughts telling me to not let this happen but I wanted it so bad. I don't think I wanted anyone else to share it with.

Axel let his slick fingers feel in the inside of me. I let a whine out. Axel kissed my neck apologetically. He was almost as nervous as I was. I knew if I showed any pain or regret it would be over. Axel would stop in fear of hurting me. I brushed back his hair and my fingers traced the edge of his hair line. I continued to move my hand till it rested on his neck so that I could push his face up to kiss me. Time stood still as the moment we all had been waiting for was here. His fingers left me and his member replaced them at my entrance. The kiss continued to distract us both. Axel leaned in to me and I bit his lip trying to keep my mind off the pain. He gasped from the pain and the pleasure. I could feel my eyes begging to tear as the tip slipped in. I closed my eyes in pain and as Axel saw the tears.

"Should I stop…?" he asked before continuing. I thought it through and I knew that this was going to happen at one time or another. I just needed to relax.

"Y-y-yeah, I'm fine," I lied slightly. He nodded and kissed my cheek where the tears had been streaming. His hips moved to push in farther. I turned my head to the side so that Axel couldn't see my face. It was childish because there was no real way for him not to see me. I felt like a kid, if I couldn't see him, he couldn't see me. I exhaled shakily to try and relax. Once I had talked my mind down and started to breathe, I was able to let him in. He filled every painful inch. I couldn't decide if I liked it or not. I knew the pain would subside but it was all I could feel. Axel was whispering to me but there was nothing I could hear but the sound of my pulse in my ears. He had stopped and let me adjust. The pain would fade every time I exhaled and then I would breathe in and I would tense, it would hurt again. A hand was stroking my arms and chest to calm me down. I had to hand it to Axel, he was not lacking in length or girth. Although, it could be my mind that is making it out to the monster that it was.

"Roxas… Are you… am I hurting you?" Ax repeated. His lips brushing over my ear made me listen. I shook my head. The pain was manageable and it was subsiding. My eyes were till shut tightly, as if I would hurt more if I was aware of the reality around me. My face was buried in the pillow next to me, it helped to keep the gasps to myself. His hand pulled my chin from the red sheets. He kissed me, sliding his tongue past my teeth and probed my mouth until I participated. He had started to pull out to push his hips back in. I whined at the movement and shifted my hips. He pushed back in and I yelled out, I'm not sure if it was pleasure or pain. He hushed me and I gave a smirk.

"Tell that to Demyx…" I remarked. He smiled at my joke. It made him feel better that I still had a sense of humour despite the fact my ass was being owned. He began to rock back and forth in very short thrusts. It hurt but I was starting to see why people would engage in such a painful pass time. I could feel all of Axel and there was nothing he could hide. It was the closest we could ever be. Even though my mind liked to make-believe that Axel might not like me or that he's mad at me or something. This could not lie, there was no way he hurt me, not after I had trusted him with this.

His thrusts increased slowly. I could tell he was holding back but I still was wincing in pain every now and then. Axel had long since surrendered his face in to my neck, completely focused on the rhythm. It wasn't as magical as I would have hoped it to be but I knew Axel loved me and that this was his ultimate way of showing it. He still couldn't say the three words after the whole 'more of you to love' accident. I started to relax more and more, let Axel have more and more of me. He picked up the pace again once he finally heard a moan of pleasure. He groaned and gave a hard thrust trying to keep himself in check.

"Faster…" I whispered as I pulled his hair. I didn't know if I was going to be able to take it but I wanted Axel to enjoy this. I didn't want him holding back the entire time. He growled so deep it gave me goose bumps and he raised himself on to his hands. The red hair fell around his face, making him look ominous. I was a little worried for a second until he started to stroke my cock. I breathed out and tried to not get too excited. Axel began to thrust violently, getting really close to his climax. I watched his face twist with carnality. His chest was shining with sweat in the low light of the lamp. I dug my nails in to the back of his neck and he groaned, pushing his head in to my hand. I was starting to get close. Well, anyone would with Axel looking this hot between your thighs. I could feel my face flushing in excitement. Ax's thrusts suddenly lost all rhythm and reason. He tried to keep the pace but his body betrayed him in ecstasy. His muscles twisted, showing their strength as he came. His jaw hung open to let a gasp out. His eyes closed and his arms shook. His hand stopped it's jerking on my dick and he fell on me. I could feel the cum in me, hot and white against me. His breathing was erratic. He sat there for a second and I thought that would be the end once he pulled out. Axel jumped up after a few seconds and took me all in his mouth. He sucked and pulled, bringing me back to the edge.

"Oh, god Ax…" I whispered to the ceiling. The feeling tightened in my stomach and I released. His tongue swirled over the top and sent white flashes over my eyes. All I could see was white. Axel didn't let his lips leave the tip. He caught all of it in his mouth. I came down from my high, my muscles untwisting, to find Axel cuddling in to my chest.

"What is it with you and cuddling?" I asked the snuggle bear that had both of his arms around me.

"Deal with it…" he mumbled in to my chest. I smiled and reached for the light to turn it off.

"Night Ax…" I kissed the top of his head and he readjusted his arms around me to snuggle closer.

"Night…" he sighed. I could hear someone crawling on the floor on the other side of the wall that was in the direction of the bathroom.

"Goo'nigh' Roxas and Axel!" Sora yelled from the bathroom floor. Axel and I laughed at the drunk.

"Hey, what about us?" Demyx questioned from his bedroom.

"And me?" Riku yelled from the couch.

"Goodnight everyone!" I yelled to everyone in the apartment. I was silent after that. Either everyone got their goodnight and was satisfied or was passed out. It was a goodnight. I felt like I accomplished something. Not just losing the v-card but also tomorrow was our grad ceremony. I was so close to my life actually starting.


	8. Hey, don't ever bring me back

alright... here comes the drama. Hope you can handle it, because there is much more comin'.

Discliamer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts

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><p>Demxy handed me a bottle of Tylenol. I had been running around the house with a limp all morning. We had all slept in and had half an hour to get to our grad. Axel hadn't set an alarm because I always get him out of bed but I was too tiered from last night, so now everyone was late.<p>

"What's this for?" I asked as I stopped doing my tie in the bathroom mirror.

"Is for your ass, dipshit," he scoffed, "you don't want to walk out on stage to get your diploma walking crooked." I laughed and nodded. He put the bottle on the bathroom counter and went in search of his clothes. Sora was still on the floor with his head in the toilet. We were ignoring him for the most part. I could see people running in out of the hall behind me. One particularly tall figure stopped at the door way of the bathroom. Axel walked up behind me in his graduation uniform, looking sharp as ever in the black with gold trimmed blazer. He hugged me from behind.

"You ready?" he asked in my ear. I nodded my head as I finished the last fold on my tie. I was so ready to never see those people ever again.

"Ok, everyone in the car!" Demyx yelled at the six people who would have to fit in the car. It would have to double as a clown car today. Demyx and Zexion were in the front with the radio blasting slipknot out the open window. Axel, Riku and Sora got in to the back seat and buckled in. I got in place at the car door and made sure everyone was ready.

"You guys good?" I asked before I made my attempt to fit in as well. They all yelled at me to get in the car and  
>I dived on to everyone's laps. I laid over the back seat and pulled my legs in so the door could close on the ridiculously small car. I was lying flat on my back so that any passing cop cars wouldn't see that the car was over capacity. My head rested in Axel's lap, right where I wanted it to be. Sora closed the door and off we went. There were a few turns where the bottom of the car scraped the pavement and my head or knees would hit the side of the door. We had stopped at the intersection before we got on the freeway when my phone started to ring.<p>

"Roxas' used clothing, making high priced hobos since 1992, how can I help you?" I answered, "Hey! Turn the music down!" I yelled as I held on to the receiver of the phone. "Hello?"

"_Roxas? I just wanted to let you know that… well, you know that I'm… I'm going to get it taken care of,_" Namine said really fast. She was panicking. I knew this would pass, I just needed to talk her out of it.

"No, you need to think about this," I said as I sat up. Axel tried to pull me down again to mimic me going down on him. I pulled out of the hold he had me in and I gave him a dirty look. He wised up and asked who was on the phone.

"_No, Roxas, it's ok. Really,_" she tried to convince me, "_I just wanted you to know so that… y-you could t-t-tell Sora for me?_" I knew that there was no way she could get any kind of abortion in a hospital without letting her parents or sister know. She would go somewhere where they didn't need to tell anyone, because it wasn't legal.

"Namine?" I made sure she was listening. She gave a quiet yes, "Promise me you will not do anything until I come see you this afternoon, ok?" I heard her deliberating on the other side of the phone.

"_O-ok, but you better be here right after you grad is done,_" she agreed. I gave her a goodbye and hung up the phone.

"Who was that?" Sora asked. I shook my head.

"Nothing, I think it was a wrong number," I was bad at lying but the subject seemed to be dropped as the music was turned back up.

The ceremony was outside since the weather was nice. There were rows of mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles and grandparents. Then there was us, an entire row of degenerates. Everyone had come out to congratulate Ax and I. Well, mostly me. When I walked out to grab my diploma, there was a sudden burst of cheers and hoots. Demyx got up on his chair to scream 'I love you, man!'. I shook hands with an angry principal. I weakly smiled and he handed me the paper with a 'good riddance' look. I turned to the camera man at the front of the stage and posed for a picture. The flash blinded me and I blinked to get my vision back. In the corner of my eye I could see someone that should have not come.

I got off the stage and waited till the ceremony was over. Then I marched, very angrily, over to the oversized, pink sun hat that hid the snake in the grass. She was talking with a group of people. Being ever so polite, I pulled my mother's arm, effectively removing her from the conversation she was having with one of my teachers.

"Roxas! You are hurting me!" she yelled. My eyes nearly bulged out of my head. That was hurting her? She didn't know what it was like living with her. One day in that house and anyone would know the meaning of pain.

"What the fuck are you doing here!" I screamed back.

"Well, darling, I was talking to you teacher and he says that you might still be able to take some of the smaller collage's entrance—"

"There is no fucking way I could ever be what you want! I not going to college, I'm not getting a nice job and I will never marry a nice woman because I'm gay," I squashed her attempt at explaining herself or even trying to convince me otherwise, "So, why don't you and perfect little life, just go and fuck yourselves. Leave me the fuck alone." I glared at her as she retreated with her purse clutched in her arms. She looked over the crowd that was watching, making sure everyone saw that I was the one who was evil. God forbid that anyone saw her in the wrong light. She backed out of the crowd and turn to leave, hopefully for good. The teacher approached me to scold my behaviour. I put my hand up.

"I know," I nodded and stopped the verbal lashing I was in for, "I'm leaving." I turned to cut across the field to the student parking lot. I was going to wait for everyone at the car. I heard the same cheers and hollers from the ceremony behind me. I turned to see everyone running after me.

"To Roxas! The fucking hero of the day!" Demyx was cheering me at the basement. We all ditched the dinner and went straight to the bar at two in the afternoon. I didn't want to think about my mom or what had happened, I just wanted to be hammered. Within minutes we were all drunk and laughing. The owner didn't even mind that we were drinking underage in his bar. Usually if he catches you in the bar underage, he'll kick you out. But today he was cool with us celebrating. There was no end to the drinks, jokes and pranks. Organization Thirteen gave their first impromptu concert. We 'borrowed' equipment from the bar and played a few songs. Time seemed to evaporate. Before I could realize what had happened, we were back at the apartment. The party was going and there were more people than we had started with. Axel and I managed to stay the life of the party till the end for a change. We fell asleep on the couch, drunk as skunks, giggling at our stupid jokes. My mind was perfectly numb, nothing to think or worry about, not any more.

"Your mom shouldn't have come…" Axel brought the conversation to a more serious level. I snuggled in his arms. We had been spooning and laughing since Riku left a half hour ago. Sora was, again, face down in the bathroom. I was starting to see a pattern and it worried me. "You were really brave today." He kissed my neck and held me closer.

"Thanks…" I said in return. I wasn't sure what to say to that. I was just happy someone saw that I was scared shitless walking up to the woman. "I love you…"

"Love you too…" he purred in my ear.

The sky was falling on to my painful skull. The sun was burning my retinas and I could not figure out why I was awake. It was the day after my grad. I shouldn't have to get up in the morning ever again. There was a high pitch ringing in my ears. Nope, not in my ears. It was the phone. I flopped off the couch and out of Axel's arms, on to the floor. He rolled over and snuggled in to the couch cushions. I crawled to the kitchen counter where my phone was. I knocked it off the counter and answered it.

"Roxas' colonoscopy clinic, sure we've seen that before," I answered not bothering to open my eyes. I felt like a mole who had dared to leave his borrows.

"_Roxas? It's Kairi,_" she informed me. I shot straight up. I had totally forgotten. Namine, I was supposed to go see her. "_It's about Namine… you should come to the hosipital. Is _Sora_ with you?_" she said his name with distain. I gathered that she had found out that they had done it.

"Yeah, he's still sleeping though…" I replied quietly, "Is it about…?" I was scared to say it. Everyone knew now but it was too sensitive to say out loud.

"_Yes, Roxas, it because she tried to get an abortion,_" she was blunt and angry. She blamed us, Sora and me, for what had happened. If I hadn't forgot about going to see her yesterday she wouldn't have tried to do something rash. And if Sora hadn't lost his impulse control, we really wouldn't be having this conversation.

"We'll be there in half an hour," I hung up and went to wake only the people who would be going to the hospital. I woke up Sora, of course, and I got Zexion out of bed since he had a car.

The car trip was completely silent the whole way there. Not even a sneeze. Zexion wasn't one to talk in the first place and Sora and I were not giving off chatty vibes. I sat in the back seat, looking out the window. I left Axel on the couch because I knew he'd want to come with us. Namine didn't need a troupe of people coming to see her on this hospital visit. I knew she would say that she wanted see everyone and that it wouldn't be an imposition, but it would be hard to have all your friends to see you in that situation. The sun was not actually up yet, it was six am. The orange sky out line black skyscrapers as we ventured further in to the center of the city, they got taller. They were the only thing moving in the early Sunday morning. Usually this would be the time business men shuffle to work with their brief cases and ties. I wondered if maybe that thousands of people couldn't be completely wrong in choosing a normal life. No matter how wrong it sounded to me, the perfect family and job with a new house and car, it looked easy. Not the work it took to get them but just having them. If I got everything I wanted, I would still be knee deep in trouble and drama. There is no rest for the wicked.

The nurse at the station said that we need to wait until a family member came to walk us in. We waited in family room for Kairi. Sora had gotten quite pale on the ride over. I was worried he might get sick. I walked to the vending machine and got three pops. I handed one to Zexion and then I put on in front of Sora. He took one look at it and ran for the trash can. I sighed and put the drink on the seat next to mine. He dry heaved for five minutes before he gave up his attempt to vomit. He sat down next to me, taking the can of pop off of it before sitting. He didn't open it. He just held it so that his shaky hands had something to do.

"You ok?" I asked, I knew the answer but I wanted to know if I should call for a doctor or not.

"Peachy…"


End file.
